Pride is the one annual occasion where members of the LGBTQIA+ community come together in unity and solidarity, and June to August are seen as the traditional LGBTIQ+ Pride season globally. For millions of people around the world, this is one event where they feel a sense of belonging, connection, and love.
The dreadful coronavirus pandemic has resulted in the postponement and cancellation of countless Pride events globally, and even here in Mzansi we’ve seen a number of events rescheduled. The challenge around the coronavirus crisis means that most planned Prides will not take place and that the LGBTQIA+ community will not be able to come together as a united front.
Don’t despair though – a Global Pride is set to take place this Saturday, 27 June! According to the organisers, the event will be streamed online, and you can join from the comfort of your home to watch musical performances, speeches and addresses from human rights activists on the day. This will avoid the challenge of people coming together in their thousands, and with the online platform everyone can participate!
You can sign up for the event on the Global Pride website. It starts 7 AM sharp in South Africa! https://www.globalpride2020.org/
Check out our previous blog on gay Pride and its history in South Africa here: https://www.alluresensuality.co.za/june-is-pride-month/
From all of us at Allure Sensuality Emporium, we wish you a colourful, happy Pride!
As South Africans we are notorious for our heavy alcohol consumption. In fact, we rate in the top 10 countries for Africa’s heaviest drinkers. And in trying and stressful times like these, it’s not unheard of to reach for the bottle to relax and unwind a bit.
Have you ever thought about how alcohol affects not only your health, but also your sex life? We’re all familiar with the humorous slang term ‘beer goggles’. The consumption of alcohol lowers your inhibitions and visual perception so that you are drawn to people you would otherwise not find attractive. While lowered inhibitions and an increased sexual drive may seem ideal, alcohol abuse can wreak havoc on your sex life.
Let’s look at the science.
Alcohol is a depressant. After consumption, alcohol causes the body’s systems to slow down. Often, feelings of drunkenness are associated with elation and happiness, but other feelings of anger or depression can arise. Balance, judgment, and coordination are also negatively affected. One of the most significant short-term side effects of alcohol is reduced inhibition. Reduced inhibitions can lead to an increase in sexual behaviour.
Men’s sexual behaviours can be affected dramatically by alcohol. Both chronic and acute alcohol consumption have been shown in most studies to inhibit testosterone production in the testes. As testosterone is critical for libido and physical arousal, alcohol tends to have deleterious effects on male sexual performance.
Studies have been conducted that indicate increasing levels of alcohol intoxication produce a significant degradation in male masturbatory effectiveness. This degradation was measured by measuring blood alcohol concentration and ejaculation latency. Alcohol intoxication can decrease sexual arousal, decrease pleasureability and intensity of orgasm, and increase difficulty in attaining orgasm.
In women, the effects of alcohol on libido in the literature are mixed. Some women report that alcohol increases sexual arousal and desire, however, some studies show alcohol lower the physiological signs of arousal. A 2016 study found that alcohol negatively affected how positive the sexual experience was in both men and women. Studies have shown that acute alcohol consumption tends to cause increased levels of testosterone and estradiol. Since testosterone controls in part the strength of libido in women, this could be a physiological cause for an increased interest in sex. Also, because women have a higher percentage of body fat and less water in their bodies, alcohol can have a quicker, more severe impact. Women’s bodies take longer to process alcohol; more precisely, a woman’s body often takes one-third longer to eliminate the substance.
Sexual behaviour in women under the influence of alcohol is also different from men. Studies have shown that increased BAC is associated with longer orgasmic latencies and decreased intensity of orgasm. Some women report a greater sexual arousal with increased alcohol consumption as well as increased sensations of pleasure during orgasm. Because ejaculatory response is visual and can more easily be measured in males, orgasmic response must be measured more intimately. In studies of the female orgasm under the influence of alcohol, orgasmic latencies were measured using a vaginal photoplethysmograph, which essentially measures vaginal blood volume.
Psychologically, alcohol has also played a role in sexual behaviour. It has been reported that women who were intoxicated believed they were more sexually aroused than before consumption of alcohol. This psychological effect contrasts with the physiological effects measured but refers back to the loss of inhibitions because of alcohol. Often, alcohol can influence the capacity for a woman to feel more relaxed and in turn, be more sexual. Alcohol may be considered by some women to be a sexual disinhibitor (Wikipedia).
So, what does all this tell us? Drinking large amounts of booze can make it hard to get and keep an erection. Basically, alcohol just interferes with the messengers running back and forth from your brain to tell your penis to fill with blood (an erection) and overdoing it on the booze can lead to erectile dysfunction. Alcohol interferes with women’s fertility and can also make it hard to reach orgasm – and who would want to miss out on that?
We all know that sex keeps our bodies running like a fine-tuned car. If you feel it’s time to have less alcohol and more sex, start with cutting down on your alcohol consumption. You could increase your number of drink-free days per week, exchange your glass of wine at dinner for another non-alcoholic beverage, and decide on the number of drinks you will have on an occasion and stick to that limit.
In the long run, you will save your health, your finances (yes, we know you’ve paid R1000 for a bottle of Tanqueray during lockdown) and your libido. Put away all the money you would have spent on alcohol for the month and treat yourself and your partner to a romantic night ‘away’ instead.
The upper limit guidelines for alcohol consumption are 1 drink per day for women, and 2 drinks per day for men.
You might not be aware that sex is good for you. It is pleasurable and it is amazing, but apart from that, the perks extend far beyond the boudoir.
Sex is touted to boost your immunity by making antibodies to protect you against all sorts of germs, bacteria, and viruses. Bye-bye Corona? Of course, sex alone is not enough for a resilient immune system. Make sure you eat healthy, get moderate exercise, and a good night’s sleep.
Don’t like going to gym? You would be happy to know that sex counts as exercise. You make use of your entire body when doing all those sexy movements, the result being a full body workout. In contrast to lazing in front of the couch, having sex burns 5 calories per minute as opposed to 1 calorie per minute. Sex also counts as cardio, which is a great defence against heart attacks and strokes. What are you waiting for? Head to the bedroom, or the kitchen counter if you like, and get your kink on.
Sex is a healthful addition to keep your blood pressure in check. Studies have supported a link between a good romp and steady blood pressure readings. Of course, sex is not a substitute for your medication, but can be used in conjunction with meds to keep you strong.
Knock some boots and improve your appearance. It is said that oestrogen and testosterone release with regular sex. The hormones keep you young and healthy and boosts the appearance of your skin and hair. And don’t forget that healthy after-sex glow!
The mental health benefits of sex are enormous. It shoves stress and anxiety right out the door and is said to boost your brain power. Sex releases dopamine and oxytocin during orgasm to make you feel all loved up and happy, hence the post-coital snuggles. Vasopressin promotes pain reduction and serotonin make you feel all relaxed. Your parasympathetic nervous system down-regulates and make you feel all chilled out.
Masturbation is not the same as sex, and although the health benefits are there, it is not as vast as the benefits of having sex. Go forth, have sex, and do it safely!
OnHealth. 2019. The Surprising Health Benefits Of Sex. [online] Available at: <https://www.onhealth.com/content/1/health_benefits_sex> [Accessed 23 April 2020].
Mitrokostas, S., 2019. Here’s What Happens To Your Body And Brain When You Orgasm. [online] ScienceAlert. Available at: <https://www.sciencealert.com/here-s-what-happens-to-your-brain-when-you-orgasm> [Accessed 23 April 2020].
Mortal fear is definitely no turn-on for anyone. If you’ve been ordered to work from home, or in self-isolation because of the dreaded coronavirus, you might be stressed and anxious. In a positive light, locking the doors behind you and spending time alone might pose some benefits – you have some free time to get down and dirty with yourself!
We’re not sure if the coronavirus is transmitted sexually, but it’s safe to say that close contact with other humans pose a great risk of transmission. If you or your partner have tested positive for Covid-19, obviously, you’re not going to have sex! So, where does that leave you?
Lucky for us, we live in the age of technology! There is phone sex, Skype sex, remote controlled sex, masturbation and even porn. Take your pick, because the options are endless.
If you’re feeling frisky and you and your partner need to be separated, make use of one of our fantastic remote-controlled vibrators. Our We-Vibe products come with a phone app, so you can control your partner’s pleasure from the next room, or the other side of the world. What more do you need? Check out our products here.
Skype or Whatsapp video call is a great way to get kinky with your partner, even though you’re not in the same room. Call your partner from wherever, who knows what might play out?
You can also completely remove the human component from sex. In this case, keep it sexy while going solo. Your trusty rabbit vibrator or Fleshlight masturbator is a great option to keep boredom at bay, while still getting your thrills. Take a peek on our website for all the kinks and toys you could possibly want! Just remember to make sure that your toys are cleaned properly before and after use.
Even if you’re in quarantine, you can still have an orgasm-packed experience at home!
Remember: Soap, Sanitiser, Space, and don’t touch your face!a
As with most things in life, once you get used to something new, the novelty wears off. The same goes for love, sex and relationships. How do you keep your relationship alive and healthy?
Many of us have been disillusioned, thinking that great sex and a happy relationship will last forever. The thing is, it never does, unless you continually work hard at it. If you don’t, things can go down a slippery slope real fast. How do you keep that passion alive? Anything in this life that is worthwhile, needs some effort put into it.
Be attentive. To your partner’s needs. As humans, we long for attention, being acknowledged, and being seen and heard. Focus on everything that is said and done, and more importantly, what is NOT said or done.
Have sex. Have a sex date once or twice a week, have spontaneous sex. Just do it. And plan. If you know it’s going to happen, you might just put more effort into it! Dress up, make it romantic, light a candle and be sexy.
Take care of yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you will look good too. Confidence oozes sex appeal. Go to the gym, get your hair done, eat healthy.
Talk about sex. If you’re satisfied sexually, say so. If you’re not, don’t keep quiet. Understand what your partner wants and needs and enjoys, too. Evaluate regularly.
Deal with obstacles. Whatever they may be, sexual problems or emotional problems. Let your partner in and work together as a team.
The only constant in life is change. Accept that relationships change, and that sex might change. Your passion may fade over the years, sex may happen even less, and you may need to work harder on your closeness and on ways to stay intimate.
If you persevere, work hard at your relationship and be patient, you can experience meaningful and deep happiness many years into your relationship.
Men and women alike can sometimes suffer from a negative body image. It messes with our heads, and it messes around with us in bed. The way we see our bodies can have a negative impact on our feelings of sexual desire and enjoyment. We’re impacted by what we think of ourselves, and by what we assume our partners think of our bodies.
Negative body image can look like this:
- Perfectionism, or feeling down and frustrated about your physical flaws.
- Preoccupation with looks and conforming to certain ideals (you know, those perfectly Photoshopped models on the cover of GQ or Women’s Health).
- Believing that you must be a certain size or weight to be desirable or happy.
- Judging parts instead of paying attention to the whole. When you look in the mirror, often people with low self-esteem only see the body parts that they think are unattractive.
Address your negative body image issues and get back on track with your sex life by doing this:
- Believe it when your partner gives you a compliment. If he she/he says you look sexy/beautiful/wow, you can be sure it is the truth.
- Root out negative self-talk before and during sex. Be aware of your inner critical voice, and remind yourself that you deserve sex and sexual pleasure.
- Be mindful. Be aware of what comes up in your mind, and don’t always accept those thoughts as the truth. We question our thoughts and feelings, but they are just thoughts and feelings. Not concrete reality.
- Breathe while having sex. Take your mind off negative thoughts by taking a deep breath in for two seconds, then focus on that feeling. Add daily meditation to your routine.
- Focus on your partner and how his/her body responds to yours. Notice your partner’s pleasure and desire.
- Focus on what you do like about your body or face (I have beautiful blue eyes, I have a sparkling personality/I have strong legs and can run fast) and reiterate those points on a daily basis.
Take stock of how you feel about your body, learn how to love yourself, then experience the pleasure you know you so much deserve.
Yay! The holiday season is just around the corner! You’re probably wondering what you’re going to gift your lover or friend, or even yourself this year. Ask yourself this: is there anything quite like some sexy loving? No? Why not give a gift this year that keeps on giving! Yes, we’re talking about sexy toys!
There are thousands of varieties of adult toys to choose from, so to make your life easy and lift the pressure from holiday shopping, we’ve put together a list of our favourites.
These sinfully sweet sex toys are perfect to get you all loved up this holiday season. We present to you 11 of our best buys!
|Lelo Sona Cerise|
Meet the sonic massager that stimulates 75% more of your clitoris for a feeling that will change your life, one orgasm at a time. SONA 2 Cerise, a powerful sonic massager, delivers fast yet gentle sonic waves that stimulate the entire clitoris, inside and out for mind-blowing waves of satisfaction that resonate all around and keep you coming back for more.
Say hello to wearable vibrations on the go! We-Vibe’s new wearable clitoral vibrator, Moxie, is for those of you looking for adventures outside of the bedroom. Moxie is designed to be worn under your clothes, with hands-free, whisper-quiet vibrations. You can wear it out for dinner, date nights or even the office, and no-one will suspect a thing! It’s a thrill having your partner in control and sharing a dirty little secret!
Pillow talk – Cheeky
Get Cheeky with Pillow Talk! Pillow Talk is a collection that expresses beauty, fun and power. Cheeky effortlessly embodies each of these traits in a luxurious wand you’ll want to take to bed night after night. Every meticulously designed feature has been made for your enjoyment. The handle provides a padded cushion texture, which is both for comfort and grip, while you control everything using a dazzling crystal button.
|Anniversary Collection by We-Vibe|
To celebrate 10 years of bringing couples closer together, we’ve paired two of our most loved products, Sync™ and Tango, together in an exclusive travel-ready play case. Take pleasure on the go with the exclusive Anniversary Collection play case. Charge and store your Sync and Tango together in a discreet, compact case. The Anniversary Collection by We-Vibe is the two-in-one best value for money ultimate pleasure set. The new We-Vibe Sync couples vibrator is the latest update to the tremendously popular We-Vibe line of adult toys. A uniquely flexible take on an adored classic, the brand new We–Vibe Sync features remarkable elasticity and a body-safe silicone exterior.
Tango’s tapered tip delivers intense pleasure with its precise focus and strong vibrations. The flat edging is great for a sensual, relaxing full-body massage. Choose from 8 delightful vibration setting to get your groove on.
|Fun Factory Calice|
Like a bath in rose petals, the conveniently sized and waterproof CALICE promises feelings of pure relaxation and sensual desire. The soft silicone and magically formed flower shape make this mini vibe the perfect toy for sensual awakenings and countless toe tingling firsts. Excellent for fun on the go!
We Vibe Touch
It’s time to indulge your sensual side with the We Vibe Touch. This deeply powerful clitoral stimulator is silky to the touch. With gentle curves in all the right places, the eight vibration modes of this tantalizing toy will send your senses into the stratosphere. It’s sure to rock your world!
|Womanizer Premium – Clitoral Air Stimulator|
The Womanizer Premium is the ideal combination of new technology and high-quality design. It’s not just another sex toy for women, it is the sex toy for women. What makes it so special? The clitoral vibrator is equipped with Pleasure Air Technology, and encloses your clitoris without touching it whilst stimulating it via soft pressure waves. Are you ready for this completely new experience?
Perfectly shaped and angled for a luxurious and powerful prostate massage, the Loki prostate massager is anatomically perfect and aesthetically beautiful In design. The smooth, curved girth with stability ring helps you to reach the perfect spot with ease every time and accurately targets the prostate to induce more explosive climaxes.
|Doxy number 3 wand |
The Doxy Number 3 Massage Wand is an innovation in sex toy design. All the power and good looks is in a compact wand with changeable heads. Turn your favourite massage wand into a new kind of sex toy with one of the 4 heads designed for men and women.
|We Vibe Pivot|
The Pivot cock ring provides intense pleasure in the form of a vibrating penis ring. It is made of soft stretchy silicone that’s gentle on your body. Pivot provides hands-free clitoral stimulation and powerful vibrations for enjoyment by both partners.
|Truly yours 90mm bullet|
True love is yours to hold with each potent vibration of the Truly Yours RO-90mm Bullet. This stunningly beautiful pleasure bullet will make you fall all head over heels again and again as your body tingles with pure orgasmic delight. Feel your heart flutter as you fall truly madly, deeply in love!
Male masturbation has been a taboo topic for many years, and we hide our discomfort about the matter by joking about it and giving the act silly names.
If you think jerking off is something that only lonely guys do on a weekend night, perhaps it’s time you reconsidered. We all make time for exercise, cooking healthy food and meditating, so why can’t self-care include self-pleasure?
By pleasuring ourselves, we learn how our bodies respond to touch and different sensations. We learn how to bring ourselves to climax and where our erogenous zones are. If you give yourself permission to become curious again, you just might master your penis once and for all.
Schedule quality time with yourself. Explore all kinds of play in any kind of way. Don’t just get hard, climax, and then get on with your life. Touch yourself and discover what makes you feel good. Slow down and explore. Going solo is also real sex.
Do it better. Don’t replay the same ritual over and over again. Use the left hand instead of the right. Plan in advance and don’t let your me-time become a tired, last-minute ritual in the shower just before bedtime.
Stock up on lubricant. Yes, lube is also for men. It reduces friction and enhances your experience by creating a gliding motion.
Don’t rush. There is no time limit. Play around with slow build-up and light stroking, and draw out your ecstasy.
Toys are for men, too. There are amazing sex toys for men on the market, such as masturbation cups, prostate massagers and butt plugs. Why not open yourself up to new experiences?
Older men can masturbate too. Masturbation is not just reserved for the younger generations. Your pleasure should continue throughout your lifetime, and so should self-pleasure.
Lower rates of prostate cancer is linked to regular ejaculation, so go ahead and strengthen your sexual prowess.
Make a promise. Set a goal for each week, or each month to do something different. Try a new toy or a new position, you’ll never discover the things you like if you don’t explore.
Self-pleasure is not dirty or immoral as we grew up to believe. It’s also not just a release of pent-up energy and frustrations. It is intended to familiarise yourself with your body, and intensify your erotic pleasure.
If you have any questions you’d like answered, Sari is happy to book a consultation with you.
Prostate cancer is one of the most common types of cancer in men. If detected early, the chances of successful treatment are much higher. Regular examinations and screenings are are necessary for early detection.
Read the story of N, who shared his prostate cancer experience with us.
“I will start with my AAA repair nearly 10 years ago! How time seems to run through our fingers – dangerously sometimes! I want to start here because I felt that my body at the age of 60, took a huge blow.
For those who do not know, a AAA repair is an Abdominal Aorta Aneurysm, when the Aorta expands and form a bubble which may rupture at any time. Firstly to survive that, having had less than a 50% chance of survival, is a blessing, (Feel free to Google the procedure, you will understand). Secondly, it is estimated that 75% of men is erectile dysfunctional afterwards! I was blessed. It took a long time to recover and I was not as strong as before, but with patience and effort it worked.
My thyroid and gallbladder followed soon after, within 18 months. I felt like my body took a huge blow, which it of course did. My GP, we lived in Gauteng at that time, always insisted that I check my prostate at least once a year. Yes, the Dreaded Finger Test. I found it best to grin and bear it.
At this stage we retired to Hermanus, and for about two and a half years I did not have my prostate checked. I did not think this was necessary, because I was fine and the last time my GP in Gauteng checked it, it was OK!
Then, just over four years ago now, I had a funny feeling something was not right in my body. I was going to the toilet more often, only urinating a little bit at a time, and sometimes I had to push hard. I also had leaks in my underpants.
I just knew I had to see my doctor, and yes, it was confirmed with a PSA blood test!
Prostate Cancer. Shock. Dismay! How did this happen? I was only 66! Too young and all was two and a half years ago when I last got checked out.
The urologist had a long discussion with me. He explained that my prostate was 90% affected, but the good news was that it seemed it had not yet spread beyond the prostate. A small cancerous growth was also discovered in my bladder, and removed.
I avoid using technical terms and give it in plain language.
I underwent a Radical Prostatectomy, and yes I am alive, but I paid the price for my own arrogance. I am now Erectile dysfunctional. I have tried everything – Viagra, Cialis and injections. Nothing works.
I am now 70 years old, and that was 4 years ago. I am young of mind and spirit, and it hurts.
The entire ordeal taught me yet another life lesson, I might be dysfunctional, but I am blessed to have a wonderful partner who understands, and we have found ways of satisfying each other. Yes it is possible, not the same as penetrating sex, but still satisfying.
My advice to any man is: have yourself checked from a young age! If I had myself checked earlier, the cancer would have been treated sooner.
You can read our previous blogs on prostate cancer here.
Facts about Prostate Cancer Part i
Facts about Prostate Cancer Part ii
South African newspapers are generally dominated by sad and horrifying news, but even more so in the past two weeks. Just after we celebrated women’s month, in just a few days, multiple young women and children had been either kidnapped, raped, killed, or all of the above. The violent and tragic deaths sparked outcry from South Africa, and protesters took to the streets to demand protection for our women and children and justice for those who had lost their lives.
The femicide numbers in South Africa are five times the global rate. The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that 12.1 in every 100 000 women are victims of femicide in SA each year.
This points to deep-rooted issues in our society, and it’s not a fight we as women can fight alone. The men in our communities need to step up to help combat the gender-based violence that is rife in our society.
How can women stay safe in the streets? This comprehensive list at https://www.instructables.com/id/Basic-Street-Safety-for-Women/ will give you all the tips you need.
What can we do to keep our children safe?
AlbertonRecord shared some great tips from the Pink Ladies here
- Keep the lines of communication open between you and your children. They should know your cell phone number, home phone number, as well as their own address.
- Don’t take anything from strangers. It’s quite a common saying but not enough of an implemented rule. If a stranger offers anything to your kids, they should check with you first. In your absence, it’s best they don’t accept at all.
- Keep friends close. If your child is going to a place they’ve never been to before or aren’t that well familiar with, it’s advisable they take a trusted friend along.
- Decline the odd job offer. Kids aren’t likely to receive job offers, so consider it strange if your child does. Tell them to always turn them down – even if it’s simply a request for assistance with something.
- Tell them they can trust you. The best relationship between a parent and their child is when they trust you enough to share anything with you that makes them feel uncomfortable. It’s important to know when something or someone is bothering your child.
- Make them understand you’re not deliberately spying. If your child is still young and vulnerable, it could be a good idea to monitor their time spent online – that’s where the predators usually lurk. Just make it clear it’s not an excuse for you to snoop through their private messages or interactions.
- Speed and noise are key. If someone is chasing your child or forcing them into a car, the best reaction is to scream and make a dash for it – provided the attacker doesn’t have a dangerous weapon.
- Establish a plan of action. In the event your child gets lost in a busy public space, they’ll know what to do or where to meet you.
Where can you get help if you’ve been sexually assaulted or are the victim of domestic violence?
Families South Africa (FAMSA)
The Trauma Centre
Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust
SAPS Emergency – 10111
Gender-Based Violence Command Centre – 0800 428 428
STOP Gender Violence Helpline – 0800 150 150/ *120*7867#
Human Trafficking helpline – 08000 737 283 (08000 rescue) / 082 455 3664
“We’re a country with no rainbow, only rain. And that rain is red and warm and bruised between her thighs.” POEM: Zoe Human
#enoughisenough #comein #aminext
Many people take pleasure in having anal sex. Homosexuals, heterosexuals and bisexuals. To have anal sex is obviously a very personal matter, and there are many things to consider before you take the plunge. If you’ve been wondering about ‘doing it’, here we discuss some of the potential risks of anal sex so you can make wise choices.
Anal sex is the practice of inserting the penis, fingers, or a foreign object such as a vibrator into the anus for sexual pleasure. With the appropriate precautions, anal sex can be safe.
- The number one rule of anal sex: Lube up! The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication, like the vagina. It’s very important to use a quality water-based lube to make sex toys and the penis move around freely and prevent damage to the rectum, as the rectum has a very thin lining. Lack of lubrication and thinner tissues increase the risk of friction-related tears in the anus and rectum. Remember that oil-based lubricants can damage or tear latex condoms.
- Use a condom to prevent STIs and HIV infection. Unprotected anal sex carries a higher risk of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections than many other sexual activities. Using a condom correctly will help protect you and your partner.
- Risk of bacterial infection. Be careful not to use the same finger to stimulate a woman’s anus as you use to touch her vagina. This is because you could transfer small amounts of faeces to the vagina which can cause urinary tract infections. The same goes for using a finger to stimulate the anus and then putting it in the mouth, as this can pass on STIs.
If you have anal sex and then move onto vaginal sex or oral sex, you should use a fresh condom to prevent cross-infection. The same applies if you are using sex toys.
- Is anal sex painful? Anal sex doesn’t have to be painful. It’s a pleasurable part of many people’s sex lives. Penetrative anal sex can be uncomfortable or painful if rushed, especially if it’s your first time. Go slowly, and remember to use lots of lubricant to reduce friction. Start with small objects like a finger or a small sex toy to get used to the sensation. Continue to communicate with your partner, and stop immediately if you feel any strong pain.
Taking precautions will help you experience safe and enjoyable anal sex. Being safe will help you and your partner both feel more relaxed and it will help make the sex more enjoyable. Reach out if you have any burning questions about safe anal sex!
We blogged about the top 5 female sexual fantasies last month (in case you missed it, you can go read it here). We all know that men are quite fascinated with sex and their crown jewels, so it would make sense that we gave you insight about their sexual fantasies as well.
Strangely enough, there is some overlap between what men and women daydream about. In no particular order, we give you the top 5 silent reveries.
- No surprise here! Sometimes men want a sexual experience that is totally unpretentious and closes off the feelings they may have about a long-term partner. The fantasy is more about a wanton act than it is relational.
- Voyeurism is “the practise of gaining sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity”. Men are naturally visual, which makes porn a natural hit with them. But aside from that, the fantasy can involve watching himself have sex with someone (mirrors), and sometimes it’s about watching someone he knows or thinks is attractive doing the act. Voyeurism allows the voyeur to stay distanced and can provide a feeling of control.
- This fantasy usually involves a partner wearing a uniform or something skimpy, only to take it off later. Some dancing and acting may be needed, and the players usually end up having a good romp. Role play helps with communication skills and will add spice to any drab relationship, so guys, this is definitely one you can try out!
- Exotic places. Men don’t necessarily want to have kinky sex in Fiji or the Maldives (although that would be nice too), but we’re talking here about public locations like bar counters, public restrooms, movie theatres and the backseat of his convertible. Or Prius. The feeling of doing something wrong and getting away with it is the fuel that stokes this fire.
- Older, experienced women. Older women know their bodies quite well and know men’s bodies better than the younger ladies do. The sex is incredible because there are no inhibitions. This fantasy may include being wined and dined, then whisking off to a luxury apartment for no strings attached sex.
How to make your fantasy a reality
A fantasy can be acted out as long as you have a willing partner. Once you have unreserved approval, the only thing you need is the gear to equip you for your act. It can be costume hire, kinky toys or accommodation hire. The possibilities are endless. Start basic, and you can build up to an extraordinary fantasy, and perhaps the best sex of your life!
Pride is a global, annual celebration of LGBT folks and an acknowledgement of the social and political struggles of both the past and the present. Cities across the world hold parades and other events to celebrate pride month.
The month of June commemorates the Stonewall riots that happened at the end of June 1969. The uprising was a series of violent demonstrations by members of the LGBT community after a police raid in Greenwich Village, Manhattan, NYC. The riots are widely considered to be the event that lead to the gay liberation movement.
The ‘Mother of Pride’, Brenda Howard, coordinated the first LGBT Pride marches in 1970, which were held in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. 2019 marks 50 years of Pride events, and while there has been remarkable progress since 1969, LGBT activists are still working toward a future with no intolerance in the workplace and beyond.
In South Africa, we have been celebrating Pride since 13 October 1990. Simon Nkoli, gay anti-apartheid activist, founded The Gay and Lesbian Organisation of the Witwatersrand (GLOW) in 1988.
The first Pride was organised by GLOW and was the first of its kind on the African continent. It was attended by 800 people. In the past, these parades were used for protesting against discrimination against the LGBT community and a fight for equality before the law.
“I’m fighting for the abolition of apartheid. And I fight for the right of freedom of sexual orientation. These are inextricably linked with each other. I cannot be free as a black man if I am not free as a gay man.”
– Simon Nkoli (First pride parade, Johannesburg, 13 October 1990)
The LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, intersex, asexual and gender-non-conforming) community has fought for many decades to be acknowledged. Today, we use the word pride to define several different aspects of what it means to be LGBT.
Pride Month means festivities in abundance. If you see ribbons and rainbow flags dominate social media platforms, remember that the 1969 events were a tipping point for LGBT rights, and is the reason we celebrate Pride Month in June.
“I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You’re not scared. You’re an asshole.” – Morgan Freeman
“Gender preference does not define you. Your spirit defines you.” – Author P.C. Cast
“We should indeed keep calm in the face of difference, and live our lives in a state of inclusion and wonder at the diversity of humanity.” – George Takei
Happy Pride Month from us at Allure Sensuality Emporium!
We no longer live in the day and age where sex is a forbidden topic. As sexual norms shift and taboos wear away, we are more likely to shout out from the rooftops about the things that turn us on. Just like it’s okay to talk about sex, it’s okay for us to have sexual fantasies.
The great thing about sexual fantasies is that pretty much anything goes. You don’t have to act on any of them, and they’re not limited at all by any inhibitions. Doing something thrilling and sexy, particularly if you think you might get caught in the act, could just be the turn-on that you need.
Today we take a look at five of the most common female fantasies, from vanilla sex to hardcore crazes.
The thought of a get-together with a mystery man is enticing. Sharing a passionate night with a beautiful stranger and letting loose is at the top of the fantasy list. A wild night of candid sex sounds great, because you can’t be bothered by being judged. You’d probably never see the mystery man again!
Sex in forbidden places
The excitement of having a romp in a public place has been a fantasy for as long as fantasies exist. Public bathrooms (if you’re not a germophobe), movie theatres and shopping malls are all popular. It could be risky (think criminal record if you’re caught). And for the sake of the sanity of passersby, rather keep this one a fantasy.
Being dominated or dominating someone else was made popular by the likes of 50 Shades of Grey. Although there’s a colourful palette to draw from here, domination is something that should be experienced with a trusted partner. It can involve anything from gentle tying up, to extreme BDSM. Really anything that your adventurous heart desires can go here.
Pegging is done where a woman has anal sex with someone using a strap-on. If this intrigues you, speak to your partner about getting down with it.
Ménage à…how many?
Group sex can be amazingly erotic and put a fresh spin on things. If you like the freedom to be nude in front of other people who are just as bare, a threesome, foursome, or ‘moresome’ might just be the thing for you. Don’t go rounding up all your friends for a group sex date though, if you do act on your fantasy, make sure you share it with people who has the same mindset as you.
Sexual imagination can be a deep ocean of enjoyment, but remember, it is just a fantasy. The old adage of ”sexual thoughts are dirty” no longer applies, so there is no need to feel guilty about your thoughts. If you need to act out on your fantasies, just make sure you do it with someone you trust.
Venturing into the world of adult toys is both a fun and great experience. There are so many toys to choose from, from vibes to bondage gear to cock rings.
If your sex life has become slightly boring, and you’re looking for something fun and new to try out, but you’re also on a budget, the following toys will give you the most bang for your buck.
You’ll want to make sure that you’re buying a quality product that is manufactured using body safe materials, and something that will last for a long time to come.
These are our favourite picks!
- The Ooh by Je Joue line is a mix-and-match set of toys. You can get an external vibrator, penis ring or internal vibrator that can be interchanged on the same motor. Choose a vibe for you, a cock ring for him or just get them all!
- Dildos and vibrators are forever popular and holds the power to provide you with massive enjoyment. You can experience a great amount of sexy vibrations with discreet vibes and dildos.
- Vibes and dildos aren’t the only fun toys to try out. Bondage Gear are mostly super affordable, and can turn sex from dab to fab! Try out cuffs and whips, ticklers and ropes. Get a combination of accoutrements to keep things sexy!
- Vibrating cock rings are all the rage. A tight but comfortable fit enhances the look and feel of his erection and delays his climax, so you can enjoy longer lasting lovemaking together. Clitoral stimulation is improved by a top-mounted stimulator that please the ladies.
- Open up the back door to the world of butt plugs. Choose from faux fur tails, remote controlled, inflatable and vibrating butt plugs for a sensual experience.
These toys are sure to fulfil your every desire, so pick your jam and roll with it!
It’s really not uncommon for couples to have a disproportion when it comes to libido. Sexual desire can fluctuate a great deal over time, and it may coincide with major events in life, like illness, moving house, changing jobs, or becoming a parent.
While most men always seem to be primed for sex, low libido in women seems to be a lot more common. Medical professionals coined the term ‘Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder’ (HSDD), a sexual dysfunction that causes low sex drive in women of all ages.
HSDD is caused by both physical and mental factors. The inevitable happens as we age, our hormones decline and our bodies change, but relationship issues and stress can take their toll in the bedroom too.
If you’re alarmed by your low libido, talk to your doctor. There might just be a simple solution for your concerns.
So, what are the symptoms of HSDD?
- little or no interest in sexual activity
- few or no sexual thoughts and fantasies
- lack of interest in initiating sex
- not getting any pleasure from sex
- lack of satisfying sensations from stimulation
What causes HSDD?
HSDD can have one or many underlying causes, the main culprits normally are the following:
- Lifestyle habits
- Pregnancy and breast-feeding
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Stress, work and financial
- Poor body image
- Low self-esteem
- History of physical or sexual abuse
- Prior negative sexual experiences
- Lack of intimacy and connection
- Unsolved issues
- Poor communication of sexual needs and preferences
How to find help
If your lack of interest in sex continues, please contact your health care professional for advice. The underlying cause of your low sexual desire will determine the treatment options. They can range from hormonal treatment, to sex therapy or couples counselling, or medication.
Resources: WebMd.com, Mayoclinic.org
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so you might be shopping for cards, gifts or flowers for your significant other. Have you thought about buying sex toys to deepen the passion between the two of you?
Using a sex toy with your partner might be just the thing you need to work on your intimacy. The entire experience can turn out to be a very unique way to bond, so make sure you approach it right, if you haven’t already tried it together.
With that said, we have everything you need to get your heart racing! Here is our list of must-have toys and accessories for a fabulous bedroom experience!
Special Valentine’s Offer Receive two sensual products; One Intimate Organics massage oil , and one Crazy For You Bullet Vibe. The bullet is discreet and perfect to take on your travels, allowing you to play anywhere with the 7 patterns and 3 speeds of vibration. Set nerve-endings tingling, and build your excitement to a thrilling release.
The Womanizer Premium is the sex toy for women. What makes it so special? The clitoral vibrator is equipped with Pleasure Air Technology, and encloses your clitoris without touching it whilst stimulating it via soft pressure waves.
Pleasure Air™ Technology works by gently and indirectly, stimulating the clitoris with 12 different intensity levels ranging from super soft to powerful. Great for you to use on your lady, or for her to stimulate herself.
The Womanizer Liberty Get ready for takeoff with a stylish cover and six levels of stimulation! The Womanizer Liberty guarantees pleasure in every place on the planet.
The patented Pleasure Air Technology serves a touchless delight. Pleasurable suction and gentle massaging air waves lead to a completely new kind of orgasmic experience. This revolutionary technology gives you orgasms within seconds. Or minutes, or hours. The choice is yours. Just relax and enjoy the waves of pleasure. It is even more intense and sexy when used under water!
Bad Kitty Bondage Set The Bad Kitty Bondage set is fetish set that will titillate your every sense, and fulfill your every whim, and every fantasy.
This box of goodies boasts eight accessories – so whether you’re into blindfolding, tying up or being tied up, gags, cuffs, straps or whips – this one’s for you.
Sex toys go all too naturally with the theatrical romance of Valentine’s day. It is the perfect time for experimentation and to get all loved up! And don’t forget, sex toys can also make the perfect gift for a friend!
We wish you a happy and loving Valentine’s Day!
Buying your first sex toy can be nerve-racking. There is so much to choose from…where do you begin? You can’t really take it for a test drive and return it if it’s not what you expected. Read our guide on sex toys for beginners!
Thanks to the internet, buying a bedroom companion is as easy as the click of a button. If you’re an unseasoned shopper, read our guide to investigate all the good buys. Whether you want to go it solo, or pick up something to spice up your love life, we have everything to pique your interest! Expand your sexual horizons and treat yourself with our variety of luxury toys!
What to look for in a beginner toy
Sex toys come in an assortment of materials and textures. Soft, flexible materials that are easy to use, are great for beginners. You might want to try something a little firmer as you become more comfortable with your toys. Then you can introduce those made of glass, silicone or plastic. They are usually firmer, and offer little to no elasticity.
Read more about different materials at Sex Toy Safety 101.
Stick to a basic style sex toy. Keeping it simple will ensure your comfort. If you’re looking for a vibrator, choose from our range of classic or rabbit or mini vibes.
Your first sexy toy must catch your eye. Dildos and vibrators are popular. Start small at first, then gradually work your way up to bigger sizes. A good measurement for beginner toys is more or less 15cm in length, and 4cm in girth. Smaller toys will help you feel comfortable and achieve the required sensations.
If anal penetration is a first for you, explore with your fingers beforehand. When you’re comfortable, move on to a mini butt plug, and you can experiment further.
You don’t need to go big if you’re buying a couples toy. Cock rings, couples vibes and massage oils are great to start with. Simple bondage accessories are also great introductory toys. It’s a flirty way to spice up your boudoir!
Always use quality lubricants with your toys. This will extend their lifespan, and help you to achieve sexual pleasure. A good lubricant will reduce friction as sex toys can absorb natural body fluids.
Water based lube and silicone based lube are the most common. Water-based lubricants are more absorbent, and may not last as long as the silicone-based lubes. Lubes are also available in flavoured and non-flavoured varieties. We stock only the best quality lubes here.
Have questions? Reach out here.
We previously laid down the particulars about the symptoms and risk factors for Prostate Cancer in Part 1 here.
Prostate cancer can spread to nearby organs, such as your bladder, or travel through your bloodstream or lymphatic system to your bones or other organs. Once it has spread to other areas of the body, it may still respond to treatment and may be controlled.
Read on for treatment options and complications.
Complications of prostate cancer and its treatments include:
Both prostate cancer and its treatment can cause urinary incontinence. Treatment for incontinence depends on the type you have, how severe it is and the likelihood it will improve over time. Treatment options may include medications, catheters and surgery.
Erectile dysfunction can result from prostate cancer or its treatment, including surgery, radiation or hormone treatments. Medications, vacuum devices that assist in achieving erection and surgery are available to treat erectile dysfunction.
Reduce your risk of getting Prostate Cancer by paying attention to the following:
Eat a diet that consists of plenty fruit, veggies and whole grains. Avoid foods high in fat. Whether you can prevent prostate cancer through diet has yet to be conclusively proved. But eating a healthy diet with a variety of fruits and vegetables can improve your overall health.
Exercise at least a few hours a week. There is evidence to suggest that men who exercise regularly have a lower risk of Prostate Cancer. If you’re new to exercise, start slow and work your way up to more exercise time each day.
Maintain a healthy weight by consuming healthy food and by exercising. Speak to your doctor about creating a plan.
A few studies imply that taking 5-alpha reductase inhibitors, finasteride (Propecia, Proscar) and dutasteride (Avodart), may decrease the risk of developing prostate cancer. These medications are used to control prostate gland enlargement and hair loss in men.
Some evidence, however, points out that men taking these medications may have an increased risk of getting a more serious form of prostate.
Management is diverse for early and advanced prostate cancers, and recommendations depend on individual cases.
Early stage cancer
If the cancer is small and localized, it is usually managed by one of the following treatments:
PSA blood levels are regularly checked, but there is no immediate action. The risk of side-effects sometimes outweighs the need for immediate treatment for this slow-developing cancer.
The prostate is surgically removed. Traditional surgery requires a hospital stay of up to 10 days, with a recovery time of up to 3 months. Robotic keyhole surgery involves a shorter hospitalization and recovery period, but it can be more expensive.
Radioactive seeds are implanted into the prostate to deliver targeted radiation treatment.
Conformal radiation therapy
Radiation beams are shaped so that the region where they overlap is as close to the same shape as the organ or region that requires treatment. This minimizes healthy tissue exposure to radiation.
Intensity modulated radiation therapy
Beams with variable intensity are used. This is an advanced form of conformal radiation therapy. In the early stages, patients may receive radiation therapy combined with hormone therapy for a few months.
Advanced prostate cancer
Advanced cancer is more aggressive and will have spread further throughout the body.
Chemotherapy may be recommended.
Androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) is a hormone treatment that reduces the effect of androgens (male hormones). ADT can slow down and even stop cancer growth by reducing androgen levels. The patient will likely need long-term hormone therapy.
If the disease is found before it spreads to other organs, the 5 year survival rate is 99%. After fifteen years, this decreases to 96%. Once the cancer spreads, the 5 year survival rate is 29%.
Regular screening can help detect prostate cancer while it is still treatable.If you’re concerned about your risk of developing prostate cancer, talk with your doctor.
**We can assist with ordering your Vacurect.
Research has revealed that a Vacuum Erection Device can conserve and progress erectile function for cancer patients pre- and post-radical prostatectomy. The Vacurect can also be used for penile rehabilitation by diabetics or other erection problems due to high blood pressure, cholesterol etc.
Vacuum therapy enjoys increasing popularity and is considered by many medical specialists as the first line of treatment for erection problems.
Resource: Medical News Today
Prostate Cancer is a number one risk for, and also the most common cancer in, men. It’s also the 2nd biggest cancer killer, just a step behind lung cancer.
This male cancer occurs in the prostate gland, which is part of the male reproductive system. This gland is shaped like a walnut, and produces the seminal fluid that transports and nourishes sperm.
Prostate cancer grows slowly and is initially confined to the prostate gland, where it may not cause severe damage. While some types of prostate cancer grow unhurriedly and may need minimal or no treatment, other types can be aggressive and can spread rapidly.
Early detection, when still confined to the prostate gland, has an improved chance of successful treatment.
There are usually no symptoms during the early stages of prostate cancer. However, if symptoms do appear, they usually involve one or more of the following:
- Trouble urinating
- Decreased force in the stream of urine
- Blood in semen
- Discomfort in the pelvic area
- Bone pain
- Erectile dysfunction
If the cancer spreads to the spine and compresses the spinal cord, there may be:
- Leg weakness
- Urinary incontinence
- Faecal incontinence
It’s not clear what causes prostate cancer. This cancer begins when some cells in your prostate become abnormal. Mutations in the abnormal cells’ DNA cause the cells to cultivate and divide more rapidly than normal cells do. The irregular cells continue living, when other cells would die. The accruing abnormal cells form a tumour that can grow to invade nearby tissue. Some abnormal cells can also break off and spread to other parts of the body.
Factors that can amplify your risk include:
Your risk increases as you age
Black men generally carry a greater risk of prostate cancer than do men of other races. In black men, prostate cancer is also more likely to be aggressive or advanced.
If other men in your family have had prostate cancer, your risk may be increased. If you have a family history of genes that increase the risk of breast cancer (BRCA1 or BRCA2) or a very strong family history of breast cancer, your risk of prostate cancer may be higher.
Obese men diagnosed with prostate cancer may be more likely to have advanced disease that’s more difficult to treat.
When to see a doctor
Schedule an appointment with your doctor if you have any signs or symptoms that worry you. Discuss prostate screening with your doctor – together you can decide what’s best for you.
Look out for installment 2 of this blog, where we discuss complications and treatment options for prostate cancer.
Resources: Mayo Clinic
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and a yearly global health campaign organized by major charities every October to increase awareness of the disease, and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The movement also offers information and support to those affected by this cancer.
The pink ribbon is an international symbol of breast cancer awareness. It symbolizes hope for the future, and the charitable kindness of individuals and businesses who widely support the breast cancer movement. It aims to evoke unity of women who presently have breast cancer.
What to look out for
Screening tests can help find cancer in its early stages, before any symptoms appear, so go for you annual mammograms. Because mammograms do not find every breast cancer, it is important for you to be aware of changes in your breasts and to know the signs and symptoms of breast cancer.
The most general symptom of cancer of the breast is a new lump or mass. A painless, hard mass that has irregular edges is more likely to be cancer, but breast cancers can be tender, soft, or round. They can even be sore. It is very important to have any new breast mass, lump, or breast change checked by a health care professional.
Possible symptoms are:
- Swelling of all or part of a breast
- Skin irritation or dimpling (looks like an orange peel)
- Breast or nipple pain
- Nipple retraction
- Redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin
- Nipple discharge (other than breast milk)
Swollen lymph nodes should also be checked by your doctor. Any of these symptoms can be caused by things other than breast cancer, so if you have them, get it checked out by your health care provider.
Men also get cancer of the breast
Male breast cancer, which is rare, is generally overlooked. The third week of October has been established as “Male Breast Cancer Awareness Week”.
Men do have a small amount of breast tissue, so they can get the same types of breast cancers that women do. The main danger is that breast cancer in men is frequently diagnosed later than breast cancer in women. This may be because men are less likely to be doubtful of something strange in the breast are. Also, their small amount of breast tissue is harder to feel, making it more difficult to catch these cancers early. It also means tumours can spread more quickly to surrounding tissues.
It’s rare for a man under age 35 to get breast cancer, but his chance of getting breast cancer goes up with age. Men aged 60 to 70 are more likely to get breast cancer.
Other things that raise the odds for male breast cancer include:
- Breast cancer in a close female relative
- History of radiation exposure of the chest
- Enlargement of breasts (called gynecomastia) from drug or hormone treatments, or even some infections and poisons
- Taking estrogen
- A rare genetic condition called Klinefelter’s syndrome
- Severe liver disease, called cirrhosis
- Diseases of the testicles such as mumps orchitis, a testicular injury, or an undescended testicle
Diagnosis and Treatment
The same techniques that are used to diagnose breast cancer in women are used in men: physical exams, mammography, and biopsies.
Surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, biological therapy, and hormone therapy are used to treat breast cancer in men and women. The one major difference is that men with breast cancer respond much better to hormone therapy than women do.
For further information, and to support a good cause, go check out:
Shopping for condoms can be a fun or daunting experience. There are so many types of condoms on the market, how do you choose the right one for you? There are many things to consider; whether you’ll use the condom as contraception and to protect from STIs, or if you just want it for some sexy play.
If you want a condom for pregnancy or STD protection, make sure to read the condom label to see if it is approved by the relevant authorities for those purposes. Also, check the expiration date to ensure that the condom is still safe to use.
Here we break down the most popular condoms available.
- Glow-in-the-Dark Condoms are for you if you’re feeling adventurous. Most brands are also FDA-approved to help prevent pregnancy and STDs. You expose the condom to light for a few seconds before putting it on, and Voila! It glows!
- Flavoured Condoms will add some kink to oral sex. Many brands say that their condoms have yummy flavours and alluring aromas. The flavour may be contained in the lubricant or coated on the condom. You’ll find flavours from bubblegum to vanilla, and sometimes they are colour coded, i.e. yellow for banana, and so forth.
Many of these condom brands are also approved for protection. If you are planning to use these condoms for vaginal intercourse, make sure they are sugar-free, as sugar flavoured condoms can disturb the pH in the vagina, which can amplify the risk of yeast infections.
- Textured and Studded Condoms are ribbed for your pleasure. These types of condoms are shaped and textured to increase pleasure for both male and female, depending on where the raised studs and ribs are. They have a more contoured shape and allow for nerve endings to remain in their most sensitive state. So, significantly more pleasure!
- Warming Condoms are generally manufactured of thinner latex to help intensify sensation. They hold a warming lubricant that is activated by natural body moisture, and heat up during sexual contact. The warm sensations are intended to boost pleasure for both partners.
- Edible Condoms are available in a variety of tastes. The condom is rolled on, and then can be eaten off. They are for novelty use only, and don’t provide any protection against pregnancy or STIs.
Condoms are 97% successful at avoiding pregnancy (when used correctly and without fail). Condom breakage or slipping accounts for the residual 3%.
Research shows that condoms are about 87% useful at preventing HIV transmission, and can greatly reduce your chances of infection with other STIs such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis.
So, be wise. Condomise!
It’s August again, and Women’s Month. While we love and celebrate the awesome ladies in our society, for this blog we’ll be looking into the harsh reality of violence against women and children in South Africa. Physical abuse, sexual abuse and domestic violence are among the most cruel experiences causing lifetime problems for both women and children today.
Violence include acts that result from a power relationship – threats and intimidation, neglect or acts of omission. Non-physical violence has a wide range of effects that include psychological harm, deprivation and under development.
Abuse is an effort to take control of another person’s behaviour, and a misuse of authority. It can be:
What do the stats say?
Domestic violence is among the most underreported crimes worldwide for both men and women. Sure, men do suffer at the hands of women in some cases, but in most instances men are the perpetrators. Globally, the victims of domestic violence are overwhelmingly women, and women tend to experience more severe forms of violence and abuse.
South African Femicide stats paint a bleak picture for women. The international rate of femicide (killing of women) for 2015 was 2.4 per 100,000 women. In South Africa the rate for the same year was 9.6 per 100,000 women. This would mean that South Africa’s rate is four times that of the global average when considering the latest estimates. On average, one in five South African women older than 18 has experienced some form of physical violence. Shocking.
Worldwide, it is estimated that up to 1 billion children aged 2–17 years, have experienced physical, sexual, or emotional violence or neglect in the past year. Sad, but true. According to Stats SA, there are roughly 18.5 million children in South Africa. The research report, ‘Out of harm’s way‘, estimates that between 20% – 34% of children experience some type of contact violence before the age of 18. That’s between 3.7 million and 6.3 million kids. The study also cites that every three days, a child is killed due to abuse and neglect, making the child murder rate for South Africa more than double the global average.
Violence against our precious children and women may have adverse effects on health outcomes, and it has immense implications on South Africa’s Economy. Read Violence Unwrapped – Save the Children and Too Costly to Ignore.
What can we do to help women and children in our communities?
• Know the signs of abuse
• Report abuse and domestic violence immediately
• Organise WhatsApp Groups between friends that we can provide help to each other when needed
• More communication and openness when discussing abuse in the family
• Create workplace support for each other against sexual abuse/exploitation
Violence against women and children – Where to get help
SAPS Crime Stop
Tel: 08600 10111
Gender Based Violence Command Centre
Tel: 0800 428 428
Tel: 0800 GBV GBV
Stop Gender Violence Helpline
Tel: 0800 150 150
sms *120*7867# from any cell phone
Family and Marriage Society of South Africa (FAMSA)
Tel: (011) 975 7107
Tel: 08000 55 555
National Crisis Line
Tel: 086 132 2322
SA National Council for Child Welfare
Tel: 011 339 5741
People Opposing Women Abuse (POWA)
Tel: 083 765 1235
Intimacy is an emotional state that we often reserve for only one special person. It’s about knowing your significant other totally and wholly, and to be free in that individual’s company. Having an intimate connection is what most of us yearn for, but it is also something that we often fail to communicate and express to our partners.
Sex is the physical incarnation of intimacy which comes from a place of affection and a strong bond. It is more than just sharing body parts. A breakdown in intimacy often means that things cool down between the sheets as well. So how do you build that strong bond?
- Plan to set aside ‘us-time’ at least once a week that you can spend with your partner in bed. or the shower, or any other place where you can connect physically. Routines aren’t all that bad.
- Be open to looking your partner in the eyes, and seeing into their soul. Then connect with them while you are being touched, or the other way around.
- Have physical connections that are also non-sexual, such as holding hands, or a simple hug can do.
- Do things together. Having a common purpose, such as completing a project together, will give you a sense of attachment.
What we all actually need in a caring relationship is a feeling of affection and connection. Tuning into your senses to gauge how strong or how fragile your attachment is will give you an idea of how much effort you need to put in to make your relationship work. It doesn’t have to be extremely hard work. Make it fun.
Listening to, communicating and connecting with your partner will pave the way for a successful and healthy long-term relationship.
When you and your partner both enjoy the sex, you probably have a stimulating and satisfying sex life. But what if your guy, or girl, doesn’t rock your bed? By doing some very simple things, you can step up your game in the bedroom.
Here is a list of effortless changes you can make to ensure your partner stays happy.
- Clean up
We all have natural scents and smells that attract us to one another. But no-one wants to get down and dirty with someone who reeks. Good hygiene is always a must, more so when a romp is on the cards. Have a quick shower before you slide in under the sheets. Make sure it’s all neat and tidy down under. It’s the simple things that count.
Be in touch with your partner’s want and needs. Ask questions. A conversation about sex can sometimes be a little awkward, but opening the communication channels and discussing your likes and dislikes can always lead to amazing foreplay.
- Be a pro
Make sure you’ve mastered the basics before you start trying out the Kama Sutra. The best way to perfect your performance, of course, is to ask your partner for feedback. Then do some homework. Try and test it, and ask for more feedback. Once you think you’ve got the hang of it, you can bring out the fireworks.
- Make use of props
Massage oils, toys and lubes can make a boring sex act just so much more exciting. Props are used to arouse the senses. Just think how far a set of kinky handcuffs can go… Before you rush out and shop ’till you drop though, make sure your partner is comfortable with using toys. If you’re too embarrassed to show up in a toy shop, you can always shop online. Be creative!
- Be selfless
A good lover will devote all of his/her energy to a partner’s satisfaction, without even a thought of getting anything in return. Obviously, it should never always be giving without receiving, but treat your better half to one night of total satisfaction. They’ll feel special, and as an added bonus, the favour will probably be returned to you, one sweet day…
Anxiety is a completely normal and emotional reaction to some many things in life, but sometimes, as is the case with performance in the bedroom, it can outstay its welcome. Bad experiences and lifelong hang-ups can stop you from fully enjoying sex. If you’re anxious about doing the deed, read on for tips on easing up on the stress.
Do what you like
When you start viewing sex as something that’s enjoyable, your nervousness will melt away. So do what you like in bed. You don’t have to be completely and utterly selfish, but do tell your partner what you want and like. He/she will be more than happy to oblige!
Slow down, and take a deep breath.
Foreplay certainly revs up your engines. Go at your own pace, working your way up from little to more physical contact. The feeling of being in control will give you a self-confidence boost.
You can say no
Don’t ever feel obligated to do anything that you don’t want to. If your partner wants to do something that you’re not prepared or in the mood for, tell them.
It can be tricky to talk about sex and anxiety. Speak with a professional therapist if you can’t find a trustworthy friend (or your partner) to talk with.
Sometimes, go solo
Occasionally, all it takes is a bit of me-time to relax. When you masturbate, you’re in control, so you can try out new things to find what works best for you.
If you feel anxious about your everyday (or imminent) sexual performance, here are great questions to ask yourself and help ease your mind.
- What could go right?
- Am I feeling protected with this person I’m about to have sex with? If no, re-evaluate why you’re with this person in the first place.
- What am I excited about right this very moment?
- Am I setting sensible expectations?
Sex isn’t a show. Be in the moment and enjoy what you’re doing, and the performance anxiety will settle down.
Every guy loves a great blowjob, but some girls just suck at giving great head. Not to worry, we’ve got you covered! The best BJs are very much related to the psychology of sexual pleasure, so how you turn him on is directly related to satisfying fellatio.
Assuming your already naked, start by placing teasing kisses on his thighs and hips before grazing the tip of his penis with your lips. This will turn up the heat.
Try flavoured lubricant to make things juicy for you, and sensational for him. Smooth a few drops onto his skin and stimulate him at the same time. Lube will also prevent your mouth from becoming dry. Keep a glass of water handy to take a few sips during break time.
Start at base
Starting at the base, lick the length of his penis with your tongue flat.
The most sensitive spot of the penis is at the head. Lightly flick your tongue over and around, and concentrate your strokes here. Now, put his penis inside your mouth, and love his c**k like you’ve never loved it before. Remember, there is so much more to his penis than just his penis. Every area around his manhood is sensitive, so be sure to use gentle movements, because one bad move can cause your man extreme pain. A little graze is okay, but don’t bite! Massage, suck, gently kiss or tickle his testicles, and run your hands over his body.
Make eye contact, and show him you’re shamelessly enjoying yourself. This will arouse him!
Moan a little
Guys find it incredibly sexy when their partners make appreciative noises during oral sex. Let him know you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself, by murmuring a ‘hhhhhhmmmmmm’ against his penis. That will send good good good vibrations through his manhood.
Take a break
If you must. If you get jaw ache. But let the show go on. Keep the flame of passion burning by touching yourself, or kissing him hungrily.
Spit or swallow. Or gargle. Whatever tickles your fancy.
Should you finish your man off, you can discreetly spit into a tissue or cup, or swallow, or let his semen drip onto his penis. It all depends and what you two prefer.
There is no end destination, so an orgasm is not necessarily the end goal. You can go on to have great sex after a sexy blowjob. Just focus on the journey, take it slow and be in the moment together.
It’s a well-known fact that it takes the average man a meagre three to five minutes to orgasm, while most women need at least twenty. Getting your girl off doesn’t have to take fire hours of Tantric foreplay though. To get off to the right start, you need the right tools for the job, and we’re to help you!
Firstly, become O-educated
Orgasm is a reflex and the result of a physical process that includes steadily building arousal. Some people will start out a good deal closer to orgasm when they start having sex. It all depends on how aroused you are, and how hot you are for your partner. Make sure you know what gets your girl in the mood fast – a steamy porno or an erotic novel. Have your arsenal ready!
Start her engines by kissing her for at least three minutes. It reduces the stress hormone cortisol. Slide down to her neck on occasion, and remove an item of her clothes.
Open sesame (Sésame, ouvre-toi)
Orgasms are not all about foreplay. Climb politely aboard and start the final leg of her leg trembler.
The clitoris is undoubtedly going to steal the spotlight for this exercise, as the sensory epicentre is your main line to orgasm. Try the Coital Alignment Technique by starting in the classic missionary. Pull back so the base of your penis rests on her clitoris. Brace your feet against the foot of the bed and rock backwards and forwards rather than thrusting. Your penis should gently massage her clitoris.
Sensory overload is a great technique. Simultaneously stimulating her G-spot and clitoris is by far the quickest route to orgasm. When you do something that creates a positive response, keep going at the same pace and with the same amount of pressure. Focus on both and you’re well on your way!
Use a vibrator or a vibrating cock ring to get clitoral stimulation, or get into positions that stimulate the clitoris. Doggy style, bridge and girl on top works well.
Now, save your new modus operandi for next time. Since you’ve just executed a delightful orgasm with precision, your lady will soon be wanting it on demand.
In every aspect of life, there’s always room for improvement, even with the most solid of romantic bonds. Before your bad habits start destroying a good thing, nip it in the bud. Break your bad habits by catching them early! Have a look through our list of the top things that annoy and kill your sex life.
- Not talking openly about sex
Whenever your partner does some ‘remarkable’ bedroom trick and it turns you off, talk about it. It might be uncomfortable at first, but let’s rather not suffer in silence. Letting your partner know what you like and dislike, will put you on the road to a happy sex life.
- Cuddling up with your Kindle/iPad/Laptop in bed
We’re all in a different world when checking Facebook, sending that last email, and binge watching Grey’s Anatomy. Power down an hour before bedtime, and focus on being in bed with your partner.
- Too much wine
Alcohol can snuff our passion, as well as turn it on. Know exactly how much to drink. Too much alcohol can make it difficult to orgasm, and make you tired.
- Allowing Spot to sleep in the bed
Sex is a great tension reliever, so make sure you close the door for the night. You and your pets will benefit from having some space!
- Not allowing your partner personal space
We all need me-time, and suffocating your other half is one sure way to get them heading for the door. Schedule time each week to do the things you love – separately.
- If you wait for the right moment, you might wait long
Kissing and caressing can turn you on, so don’t wait for the ‘perfect time’ to make love. Just do it, even if you’re not 100% in the mood.
Kama Sutra is the most talked about and also the most misunderstood book around. It’s an ancient Indian text written by Vātsyāyana, an Indian philosopher in the Vedic tradition who is believed to have lived around the 2nd century AD. The Sutra is generally deemed to be a benchmark work on human sexual behaviour in Sanskrit literature. It is astonishing how even in that period scholar were so sophisticated in their ways of thinking about the notion of making love.
‘Kama’ means desire while ‘sutra’ means the thread which holds things together. According to Kama Sutra, the first thing every couple should keep in mind is that there is no proper set of rules in the bedroom. Your are free to choose what kindles your flame.
Contrary to western popular views, the Kama Sutra is not solely a sex handbook. It presents itself as a guide to virtuous and gracious living that discusses the nature of love, family life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life.
While Kama Sutra is portrayed solely as creative sexual positions to be tried out by partners, in reality, only 20% of the Kama sutra is about sexual positions. The Kama Sutra depicts that a person’s senses can be dangerous because when two lovers are busy in the battle of sex and friction, they are caught up in a fierce energy and pay no attention to dangers in life.
The Sutra contains a total of 64 sexual positions. Vātsyāyana believed there were eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions within each of these. In the book, they are known as the 64 Atrs. The Kama Sutra included encryption as an art a woman should study, presumably to help her create secret meetings with her lovers. It also has an early recipe for viagra -Sparrow’s eggs boiled in milk and then mixed with clarified butter and honey! The Kama Sutra directs 40 ways in which you can kiss your partner, some of them being the nominal kiss, the probing kiss, the touching kiss, the straight kiss, the bent kiss, the turned kiss etc.
The Kama Sutra should not to be confused with tantric sex as such sexual practices do not exist under the wide Hindu religion and tantra.
No matter which way you slice it, relationships are tricky. Getting two people on the same page about their wishes, their resolves, their won’ts, their can’ts, and their many hues of maybes can be unbelievably difficult.
It’s reasonable to say that many people still struggle to talk candidly about what exactly they want and need in a relationship.
Here’s a quick list of things your partner secretly wants, but might not ask for:
- At times we want your undivided attention. No TV or computer or smartphone. Nothing but just us two!
- We want open and honest communication, even if sometimes it means that you tell us things we don’t want to hear!
- From time to time we all feel worn out, snowed under, not enough, unwell, hurting, and in need of a break from all things, and some ‘me time’.
- We love to hear your acknowledgement of us and our importance to you. We wish you’d hug and caress us more.
- It’s great getting a text, phone call or email from you once on a while. It makes us feel valued and loved.
- Please listen when we express our feelings, fears and uncertainties. Don’t try solve our problems, we just need a good ear and a sounding board!
- Sometimes relationships are all work and no play. Doing something exciting occasionally would help our relationship move from drab to fab!
If you haven’t had a truthful conversation with your partner about your wishes, you need to make a pledge to begin that conversation today. Keeping issues to yourself can lead to dissatisfaction within your relationship.
The better your partner understands what you need, the better your chance of being satisfied. Stop being silent!
Over time, most couples adopt a fairly boring sexual life. Either sex dries up completely, or the excitement fades, and sex is just going through the motions. Whether it’s passionate, raunchy, or somewhere in between, try these tricks to instantly take your sex life back to hot hot hot!
Be staggeringly inventive and flirty. Come up with new ideas and indulge in whatever gets your hearts pounding!
Sometimes, practice abstinence. It loses its charm when you know you can have sex anytime, anywhere. Save sex once in a while for ‘special occasions’, such as date night.
Think outside the bedroom. Get sexy in places other than the bed – think backyard, pool, kitchen or couch.
Avoid scheduling sex for certain days and make it an impromptu deed
Believe in your relationship. As long as there’s love and trust, and lust, you can find ways to rekindle the excitement of sex without losing your partner,
Add at least fifteen minutes of foreplay, and make each other horny before having sex. Caress and compliment.
Offer a massage by candlelight if things get too hectic and you haven’t been making time for love. You will both relax, and the gentle touches will lead to kissing, and sex!
Add a hat trick and bring reinforcements. It’s a fun and flirty way to connect with your partner again. You can find sexy bedroom toys for all levels of experience and comfort, so pick up a sexy new trinket for the boudoir, and play away to your heart’s desire!
Try these tips to get out of the bedroom blues, and be on your merry way to sizzling sex with your other half in no time! Let us know what worked for you!
There are certainly hundreds of fancy oral sex tricks to try on your partner, and you don’t have to use any crazy tactics to set the fireworks off. They key ingredient to awesome oral sex is enthusiasm, and making your partner feel wanted and confident. Read on for great tips to sex up your man or your woman.
Don’t dive into a full-on oral. Take a little time to do a some teasing. Stroke, blow, nibble, lick, kiss or run your fingers ever so slightly around your partner’s thighs, perineum, penis or vagina. For the satisfaction of both of you, consider starting off in a comfortable position, perhaps with pillows under her back and butt, or him sitting in a chair. When the sparks start flying, you can move to your preferred position closer to the big show. Wait until he or she is panting, flushed, and just about begging for it. It’ll be more than worth the wait.
Fellatio is all about tongue
Men tend to like the way in which you either press your tongue flat up against their penises or create other simulations of what a vagina would feel like. Point your tongue out, flick it around, and get imaginative. Head bobbing is okay, but there’s so much to be added on.
Cunnilingus is not all about tongue
Women like for their partners to get the mouth and hands involved. Don’t just stick out that tongue and rub it up and down on their clit. Use your lips for french kiss-like movements. Change up the movement patterns, but keep it unchanging and constant when she’s about to orgasm.
Improve Your Technique
Explore with different ways to perform oral sex. Try licking, kissing, nibbling, sucking, and even biting. You don’t know what you like until you try it. A flat tongue feels very different than a pointed one: flat covers more area and pointed is more intense. If you’re aware of how the different techniques feel to your partner, the better off you’ll be at knowing when to do what.
It’s not all about the clit
The clitoris is an important part of sexual fulfilment, but it doesn’t need all of the attention. For most women the clitoris gives off intense sensation, so it’s more of a closer than an opener. Consider starting elsewhere and leaving it for the end.
Make eye contact
Making eye contact during oral sex might be intimidating to some, but chances are that your partner will find it irresistible . Glance up at your partner and maintain eye contact for a few seconds. This move is fabulously personal!. Extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you. Oral pleasure goes way beyond any porno fantasies. Connect with your partner, and let them know you’re hungry for them. Go slow, then fast, then slow again. Make sounds of appreciation, as if you were licking a mouth-watering ice cream. Your partner will be assured you’re not there out of obligation, but because you want to be.
Milestones are great for businesses. It means that you’re reaching goals and that things are going the right way! This month of August brings warm and fuzzy feelings to me, as it marks Allure Sensuality Emporium’s third successful year in business!
Here are 3 reasons why I want to share this particular milestone:
- As technology is dynamic, always changing and evolving, so is the business! I’m always on the lookout for new trinkets and toys to help my cherished clients take their sexual lives to the next level. I stay on top of industry developments, and go after the best ranges of accessories and adult toys the world has to offer.
- I get to chat with thousands of people each year about how they can get back to what really matters – sexual satisfaction. It delights me to help you understand how my pleasure products work, and to present you with all the facts regarding our sexual anatomy and our sexual responses. Knowledge is power!
- It’s tough to keep a business going in a harsh economic climate. Allure successfully made it through the first three years, and the business keeps growing from strength to strength! After 3 years of development and success, I can’t wait to see what’s in store (no pun intended) for the next 3!
Thank you for being a part of Allure’s incredible journey – we would not make it without your support!
Here’s your fun fact for the day: humans are the only animals with lips that purse outward. Now take that as proof that we’re made to kiss. Research suggests that while you’re mouth-to-mouth with the object of your lust, your brain gathers essential information about them and it perks up your senses and prepares your body for other things that follow passionate kissing.
Here’s the details on the slobber.
- Your sense of smell is activated
The lips have nerve endings that are stimulated when we kiss, which leads to the activation of additional senses such as smell.
- You relax
15 minutes of smooching reduces the stress hormone cortisol, and men also experience a rise in oxytocin, the brain’s feel-good chemical.
- It fights cholesterol
Lip-locking can decrease serum cholesterol and increase relationship satisfaction for couples.
- Your saliva is extremely intelligent
Your saliva works hard to weigh up if the person you’re kissing is a likely partner. It seems that the chemical makeup of saliva helps your body decide if the person you’re kissing would produce strong offspring.
- You experience an adrenaline rush
Adrenaline is the fight or flight substance released when we kiss someone for the first time. It increases our heart rate, boosts our energy levels and gets the blood flowing. Ever feel butterflies in your stomach in the middle of a first kiss?
- More happy things
Our bodies don’t only produce oxytocin and adrenaline, but a whole raft of other chemicals come flooding in too, making us feel pretty happy. Our brains are flooded with dopamine, the very same chemical that is released when we do other stuff we enjoy a lot.
- Kissing leads to sex
Because hormones! More than saliva passes from your mouth when indulging in passionate kissing, and all those mucus membranes are absorbing the reproductive hormones of your partner. These hormones tell the brain it’s time to reproduce, which is how a passionate kiss can turn into a romp in the sheets.
If you’re going through a dry spell in the bedroom, watch out! Your vagina will grow cobwebs and not a single soul will get between your legs again without a crowbar and a sacrificial goat.
Twisting the sheets come with a slew of health advantages (glowing skin, it’s a cure for headaches and wards off heart attacks, to name but a few).
Are you aware though that the physical consequences of going without sex for a while has a gloomier outlook? The body is such an amazing piece of work, just look at how your health is missing out when you’re not getting nookie!
- The vaginal tissues may get out of the habit of relaxing in response to arousal or insertion, and may then need to be coaxed back into it the next time you have sex.
- Studies show that abstinence seems to increase the likelihood of erectile dysfunction in men. Research on this subject tends to focus on older men, but they’re all united in the conclusion that regular sexual activity has a positive effect on a man’s erections. Use it or lose it, basically.
- Your immune system may get compromised. It seems that sexual activity actually contributes positively to your body’s immune function. Skipping regular romping may make you prone to illnesses and infections that your immune system would otherwise fight off.
- Stress responses sky rocket. Small studies have found that people who haven’t had regular sex have higher blood pressure spikes in response to stress than people who recently got some legover.
- A good quality sexual life is strongly linked to cardiovascular health, and entering a sex drought removes that hormonal and aerobic boost.
- Scientists have demonstrated that sexual activity boosts neuron growth in the brain’s hippocampus. For improved brain function, have regular sex.
If you’ve been on hiatus for a while, not to worry, if everything’s worked before, it will work again!
We live in an era of diverse family structures; some families have two moms, others have two dads, others have single parents, and other families may have lost a parent, sometimes a dad, sometimes a mom.
Mothers day is that one special day of the year where you generally spend a little extra time with your mom, a marvellous day to commemorate the life and love between you and probably the most influential person in your life.
Some families cheerfully take no notice of the traditional view of a family requiring a father and mother, by having two parents of the same sex, or having more than two parents, or having a single parent. Mother’s Day can be a minefield for same-sex couples and pose some unique questions.
For those of us who have lost a mother, Mother’s Day still exists, and it can be bittersweet reminder for some. Maybe your mother isn’t with you physically, but she’s still living in your heart and soul. So, go visit her grave and talk to her. She’s there, watching and listening from up above.
We share some ways that you can make this ‘maternal holiday’ your own in honour of the mothers and motherly types in our lives and in the lives of our children:
- If you’re mourning the loss of a mother, the holiday doesn’t have to be gloomy. Shift your mentality, keep it positive, and celebrate your mother’s life.
- Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have, by looking at the people in your life that care.
- Adopt moms of the heart and rely on the wise women in your life.
- Celebrate with the many moms or maternal figures you know — your partner’s mother, your sisters, aunts and grandmas, and make a special day of it.
- Give a thoughtful gift to the childless women who are influential in your or your children’s lives.
April, the fourth month of our modern day Gregorian calendar, is named after the Greek goddess Aphrodite, one of the most celebrated Greek deities. You may have heard of her Roman equivalent, the goddess Venus.
Aphrodite was the goddess of love, desire, beauty and pleasure. Besides her natural beauty, she also had a magical girdle which held her magic powers of love, desire, and seductive allurement. Legend has it that she was bestowed with the three graces Charm, Beauty, and Joy, often represented by a dolphin, dove or swan.
Aphrodite is one of the most identifiable images in the western world, and she’s been said to inspire passion, spark romance, increase physical pleasure, augment inner beauty and improve sexual self-assurance. Above all, Aphrodite represents the transformative power of love. When we are ‘in love’ we see the world through Aphrodite’s rose-coloured glasses and everyone and everything in it appears ideal.
As such, Aphrodite has always been a most enchanting character in western culture, inspiring several famous works of art such as the Venus de Milo and Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus, as well countless references in popular culture.
So, what can we take from the qualities of this captivating divine being?
- Be beautiful – from the inside. Let your inner qualities shine. Work on acceptance, forgiveness and self-love. Take care of your body and take care of your mind. And learn to be kind.
- Spread the love, because love is a powerful force. Pay it forward by complimenting a stranger. Lend a hand and lend an ear. Be of service to a friend or stranger in need. Send notes of appreciation to the people in your life that you adore.
- In love and in lust. Set aside time to focus solely on pleasing your intimate partner. Rub their feet. Help them orgasm. Make them dinner. Whatever they request, give it to them.
- Sexual allure = more confidence, less cleavage. Feel sexy in your own skin. Smile. Be confident to ask for what you want and be bold enough to express what turns you on. Have fabulous sexual experiences.
Make this April a month for unmoveable, unshakeable love!
Do you chaps ever get envious of all the awesome adult toys women get to have fun with? You don’t have to be. Sex toys are for guys too. Add fun to the playground by adding a few enjoyable trinkets to the boudoir, whether you’re riding solo or sexing it up with your partner. With this in mind, here’s our list of essential sex toys for men.
There are three ways to the male orgasm – by stimulating the frenulum, the perineum, and the prostate gland. This remote-controlled prostate massager, named Hugo, deals with the prostate, and allows you to have orgasms hands-free.
Cock rings come in all sorts of materials, colours, and sizes. Their purpose is primarily to delay orgasm. For something different, try the Malesation Cock Ring Set for your crown jewels.
Named the world’s first Guybrator, this effectively means men can have some vibey fun too, while masturbating. This one’s called the Pulse II Duo.
All sex toys, particularly anal toys, work better with lube. If using a prostate massager, look for a thicker lube, like silicone. Silicone is good for use with plastic or glass toys, but not silicone toys
Vibrating Cock Rings
Mix things up for yourself or with a partner with a vibrating ring which, when used during sex, stimulates her clitoris. This one, the freshly launched Ooh by Je Joue, has a detachable motor which makes charging and cleaning easier.
This one’s a male masturbator with a cult following. The TENGA Flip Hole is particularly handy as it flips open, making it easy to clean.
Missionary gets oh so ho-hum, and if you’re always in search of other ways to reach the next Big O, try out these blissful lovemaking positions to send your lady to climax heaven.
- Reverse CowgirlGuy laying on his back, while the missus sits on him, facing away.
Maximum penetration for her while he gets to caress her hips (plus a grand view of that spectacular ass).
- Doggie style
Lady on all fours, guy leaning behind her.
If you fancy a no-holds-barred animal romp, this one’s for you. Max sure your lady is well lubricated, as penetration can be quite deep.
- The Phoenix
Gal on her back, legs up, facing guy who holds her by the ankles.
The Phoenix makes for maximum penetration and gives a great view. Tip: Ladies, put your ankles on his shoulders and a pillow under your lower back. Rest on your forearms for better movement.
- Sideways Seduction
Legs entwined, both partners face each other, lying on their sides.
Exciting, comfy and intimate, this is a great position for ‘lazy’ sessions.
Partners lie on their sides, guy penetrates from behind.
Proof that you don’t have to swing from chandeliers to have good sex – deep penetration and a great view for him.
Have you tried any new positions you’d like to share with us?
Have you ever given much thought to cleaning your joy-toys and the fact that they can host bacteria and transfer STDs? Follow these tips for making sure your toys are spotless and hygienic. (more…)
Christmas is the time for giving and receiving. Between shopping for gifts and holiday parties it’s easy to forget about love – as in, making it. You and your partner can get so caught up in the holiday cheer that you forget about enjoying time with each other. (more…)
Are you curious but rather fearful of trying out sex toys? Not to worry. We’re introducing a list of our most favourite orgasm gadgets for an unscary and downright delightful experience for your Delicate Flower. These sinfully sweet sex toys are perfect to start your collection with. Shhh…we won’t tell a soul.
Perfect for foreplay or penetration, the BCute Classic is the business . The tapered tip is perfect for pleasing the nipples, the head of the penis, the clitoris or any other part of the body. The multi-speed motor is easily controlled, sending you from soft and gentle to explosive all at the twist of a cap. Be spontaneous. Be fulfilled. BCute.
Bcute Classic Curve
Dynamite really does come in small packages, and the Bcute Classic Curve is no exception. This 10cm long massager is discreet yet potent, petite yet precise.
It’s the ideal pleasing partner for all erogenous zone of the body, is soft to the touch and it warms to match your body heat quickly and effectively.
Waterproof and multi-functional, the Curve provides an intensity that electrifies.
It looks different, it feels different, it is different. Every single surface and curve of the Bcurious Vibrator is designed to fit with the form and shape of your body, creating 100% pleasure. With broad curves and a tiny tip, you’re able to get an all-over massage without neglecting any part of yourself. The pulses and surprises never stop.
JAM Mini Vibe
Lose yourself in hours of JAM sessions with this little guy. It can be used as a classic vibrator with a curved tip for G-spot stimulation, or held at the palm of your hand you can use it as an all body massager and clitoral stimulator. Its slim shape makes the Jam an excellent partner for beginners and a must have companion when ravelling.
Great fun in a small package. Try a JAM session and experience the toy’s ecstatic beats!
Whether you’re looking to ease a tense neck, create foreplay with a nipple massage or to arouse the clitoris, the Layaspot does it all. It works as an external stimulator, awakening the body from the outside. Its touch buttons allow for easy operation and its quiet and long-lasting motor is perfect for powering any of the eight vibration levels you choose. The Laya spot ‘s multi-tasking ability generates spot-on, intense ecstasy.
We aim to please Vibrating Bullet
Part of the Fifty Shades of Grey The Official Pleasure Collection, this sleek vibrating bullet combines powerful vibrations and a smooth tip to stimulate your intimate spots for intense pleasure. Versatile and easy to use, it is small enough to fit in your handbag for erotic emergencies
Masturbation is a commonplace, pleasurable and fun practice, but there is such a strong stigma attached to it that many people (especially women) won’t admit to throwing a party for one, let alone discuss it over brunch.
Have you ever thought about what you really want in a sexual relationship? We often know what we want, but sometimes we’re just afraid or unwilling to ask. We’re fearful that we’ll look demanding or we worry that our lovers will interpret our requests to mean we’re dissatisfied with them, although it’s not always so.
Desires are hard-wired inside of us, and most people would be thrilled to hear their partners talk about what turns them on. Although many can find it hard to talk to talk about sex, having a discussion about what you need and what you desire in your sexual life, both with yourself and with your partner, creates an atmosphere of understanding and closeness.
Communication is by far the most important sexual ‘enhancer’ – when you’re engaged in each other mentally, it’s easier to connect sexually. Knowing that keeping your mind open to your partner’s needs builds trust and closeness.
If you find it hard to talk about sex face to face, there are many ways to let your partner know what you like; communicate in writing by keeping a sex journal, sending an email or a text, leaving a note where you know your partner will find it.
Another flirty, delicious way of getting what you want is writing your desires down; on your body (this is where the fun begins). Imagine what you’d want your partner to do; it could be something simple like ‘Run your hands over my body’ or something a little more daring like ‘Tie me to a chair and kiss all my erogenous zones’. Whatever you like goes.
1. Find a fine-point marker and write it on your body, in places that are normally covered with clothes.
2. Be creative, and make the discovery part of the instructions. You can turn it into a game with step-by-step instructions like ‘Kiss my ears until you think I’m turned on, then slip off my skirt and follow the orders written on my thigh’.
When it’s time for intimacy, your lover can unwrap you and look for what you’ve written. It’s a great way to draw out the fun and exchange a few words about the things you’d like to do – all in one go!
In recent years, women have made great strides in this world, and rightfully so that those steps forward are honoured every year on 9 August. Clearly we don’t need a holiday to pay homage to the women of our homeland; to commemorate the ongoing strength and courage of our wives and our mothers, our sisters and our daughters; because women are so amazingly awesome that we should be celebrated each and every day.
Women’s Day is an occasion to celebrate the achievements of women from all walks of life, across the political, social and cultural fields, and it is great to have a day to value the effort made by prior generations in the battle for gender equality. Each year come August, we are inundated with touching narratives of thriving business women who are able to showcase remarkable achievements, and each year I hope that someone like you, and someone like me could be celebrated.
Yes, it’s essential to commemorate the major successes of the women in our society, but most of our realities are less glamorous and aeons away from the Women’s Day celebrity A-list. We work and remain unseen, some work three jobs to put food on the table, and remain overlooked. Several are without a voice – denied access to basic education, forced into child marriage, raped, or lives with domestic violence. Others lack a safe home, family planning facilities and career opportunities. Some are disregarded based on ethnicity, or simply can’t foot the bill when it comes to society’s beauty standards. Us girls equate to half the human race, and everywhere we face obstacles in pursuit of realising our potential. It means that the rest of society all miss out on what we can offer them. Equality for women means progress for all!
So, if you’re after an inspiring woman who should be celebrated this Women’s Day, then look no further than your neighbour. Forget about the pageantry, and recognise the ladies we meet up with in our daily lives, and let’s think about why so many of us struggle to get along in this world. Use Women’s Day to reflect on the choices we make as a society and in person, and how we all can give just a little extra toward a more just world. And that, dear readers, is exactly what Women’s Day is all about. Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them!
The sex toy industry is for the most part unregulated. Sex toys are sold as novelty items, so they do not need to adhere to certain regulations. “Novelty use” means that the item in essence has no use and therefore is not regulated (No use? Wow, could we teach them a thing or two!). We are indeed using these toys, we are inserting them in places with mucous membranes and delicate tissues. Unfortunately, most consumers are not aware of the health risks associated with certain toys. Read on for a bit of Sex Toy Ed 101.
The Bad Guys
Besides the obvious unpleasant outcomes of poorly made sex toys such as sharp seams, allergies, decomposition, and bacterial infections due to toys being porous, the greatest concern is with phthalates. Phthalates are a family of very common chemicals used in a variety of products, from polyvinyl chloride (PVC), children’s toys, and sex toys made from jelly. They are also used in the production of paint, adhesives, insect repellents, and rocket fuel. Phthalates are added to plastic to increase their flexibility. Unfortunately, the phthalates added slowly leak out in a process called off-gasing – they usually release lead and cadmium, which can be absorbed into the body.
Clues For Recognizing Phthalate Toys
The Smell – toxic toys have a strong chemical smell, which never goes away completely, even with repeated washings. See-Through Dildos – Not all see-through dildos are toxic, but most are. If it’s transparent, flexible and soft, it’s probably toxic. A few see-through dildos are made with a substance called elastomers. Those are safer in terms of not containing phthalates but are still porous and unsterilisable – they should be used with a condom and ideally not anally. See-through hard plastic is safe, too, but a much less desirable texture for a toy.
Price – The cheaper the toy, the more of a guarantee it is toxic. You may be tempted to buy the cheaper option, but you’ll get what you pay for. Though those brilliantly coloured crystal jelly dildos are cheap – they are toxic! In fact the word “jelly” is pretty much synonymous with toxic in the sex toy world. Be aware that many toys, especially the jelly toys, are porous and can’t be sterilised.
The Good Guys
100% Silicone – Silicone is always opaque; never see-through. Best to stick with manufacturers you know and trust.
Silicone sex toys are preferable because they are: Hypoallergenic / Non-porous / Not absorbent / Odourless / Easy to clean (the only common sex toy material that can be disinfected by boiling) / Non-toxic (100% phthalate-free) / Durable (won’t leave fragments of material in the body like other toys) / Unique (they come in a number of shapes, sizes, and vivid colours) / Long lasting / Pliable / Smooth (no sharp seams) / Life-like to touch / Great conductors of heat (they quickly warm to the body and retain the heat) / Great for carrying vibrations
Glass – Gorgeous glass toys are available in an amazing variety of colours and shapes. Phthalate-free and non-porous.
Stainless Steel – The weight and heat-conducting ability of metal is excellent and hyped by many. Hard Plastics – Hard plastic is non-porous and has no phthalates.
At Allure Emporium, we stand behind what we sell and want to provide customers with toys that are well made, safe, long-lasting and do what they say they will do. We sell only body-safe toys to our customers!
In the stressful times we live with constant running around and running out of time, Tantra is the perfect antidote to that boring routine and staleness that sets into romantic relationships.
Tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice, and means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy’. This beautiful art of conscious, sacred sexuality has been practiced for thousands of years by Tantric couples in order to attain authentic love and passionate connection. It can lead to powerful orgasms (although the Big O is not the objective). It’s a feast of enjoyment, and as long as you’re both experiencing plenty of it, you’re on the right track!
Anyone today can draw from the ancient reservoir of knowledge and wisdom of our ancient ancestors! Have an open mind and open heart, even if something seems silly to you at first, mostly have fun! Read on for our beginners tips.
- Make Time For A Weekly Session. Take time out of your busy schedule once a week to focus on your partner and reach spiritual enlightenment.
2.Set The Mood by creating an environment free from disturbance, a calm, quiet and peaceful room. Your sacred space should be clean of clutter, but warm and inviting. Since you will be naked, the room should be warm. Play soft music, light a few candles, and get comfortable.
3.Sit down in Yab-Yum pose. This customary Tantric pose is a wonderful way to connect closely with your partner. This can be done by: (a) sitting cross-legged across from a partner with knees touching, (b) sitting with one partner’s legs wrapped around the other’s torso, or (c) with one partner sitting on the others lap, legs wrapped around each other. Embrace each other and breathe fully together. Allow your bodies to tune in to each other and join together in this beautiful embrace.
4.Breathe. Once in position, hold each other, look into each other’s eyes, and simply breathe. Breathe in and out purposefully, paying attention to your lover’s rhythm. As you continue to breathe together, you become closer spiritually, more relaxed, and more in tune. The more attuned you are, the more aware and connected you become.
5.Give or receive a Tantric massage. Caress, stroke, lick, touch, kiss or otherwise tease and enjoy each other. You can take turns with a slow, seductive massage or simply sit and touch each other leisurely. Pay homage to your lover’s body – all of it. That means ears, nose, neck, stomach, thighs, feet, and so on. The goal is to become familiar and aroused by the whole person, not just the genitals.
6.At this point, you both may decide to make love – or not. If not, simply lay in each other’s embrace, and share your feelings in a soft, loving conversation.
If you do choose to make love, do not hurry it. Let it happen naturally and without any effort. Bring yourself to a heightened state of arousal and then let yourself down, meaning when you feel climax nearing, stop and breathe, come down a bit, and then carry on. This not only builds an incredible state of sexual tension, but it also develops self-control, heightens the emotional connection, and makes the final release ten times more intense. Eventually, both partners will get to the point when they have to release. Since Tantric sex involves a total connection, as you are preparing to release your sexual tension, make sure to look deeply into your lover’s eyes, feel their breathing, and communicate your feelings. When you’re connected this way, the let -go will be totally overwhelming. Orgasm does not mean that the journey ends though. Take the time to connect with one another, and your own road to enlightenment will begin.
Whether laughing or reprimanding, caring or smothering, mothers tend to occupy a mythic space. Children view them as divine beings who nurture and heal, adults may have to learn how to see them as actual individuals with their own imperfections, personas and history. They can be resented by some, quietly tolerated, or loved to the point of melodrama.
We’ve learnt everything we know from our mothers, and it is she that lays the foundation for your life. Though all the efforts they make in raising children are not always revered, Mother’s Day gives us the opportunity to tell them how much we appreciate, respect and admire them. It’s also a reminder for ourselves to aspire to do our best for our own children, as our moms did for us – and our best can start with something as simple as a hug.
Motherhood is also more than bearing children. It is the essence of who we are as women, defines our very identity, our nature and our unique traits. A mother is a teacher, a leader, a care giver, a food provider, a shoulder to lean on and a friend. If you are any of these things, YOU are a mother – the world is full of lost souls needing nurturing and leadership.
When deciding what to do for your mother this year, remember that some of the greatest gifts have nothing to do with “stuff”, but consist of experiences that bring joy, peace, and lasting memories instead.
Here’s to a marvellous day for all the Mighty Moms of the world for the matchless service they render in every field of life!
“Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.”
— STEVIE WONDER
Guys! April marks testicular cancer awareness month. Now, before shaking your head at yet another themed month, consider the fact that a shockingly high number of men are unable to identify symptoms of the disease.
Facts about Testicular cancer
Testicular cancer, which is caused when cells begin to reproduce uncontrollably within the male reproductive organs, is the most common cancer in men under 45.
- A man’s lifetime riskof developing testicular cancer is approximately 1 in 250
- It accounts for 1% of all the cancers in men
- It usually affects young men (age 15 – 39) in their prime of youth
- Testicular cancer has the highest cure ratesamong all cancers (>90%)
- Like all cancers, it can recur
- There are two common typesof testicular cancers; seminomas, or slow growing cancer and non-seminomas, or fast growing cancer
- Prominent symptomsinclude pain/swelling/lumps in testicles/groin areas
- Prominent risk factorsinclude undescended testis (cryptorchidism), family history, mumps and inguinal hernia
- Surgical removal of a testicle will not affect Chemotherapy, on the other hand, can harm sperm count/quality. Sperm banking may then be considered.
Typical signs of cancer in its initial stage:
- a painless (or painful) swelling or lump in/on the testicle
- a feeling of heaviness in the testicle
- a light twinge in the groin
Typical signs of cancer in an advanced stage:
- enlargement of the affected testicle
- enlarged abdominal lymph nodes
- enlarged or painful mammary glands
(Taken from love-your-nuts.com)
A man will notice the first signs of testicular cancer himself. But normally by the time they go and see a doctor, the first metastases have already formed in one third of the cases.
Every guy should carefully feel both testicles for thickening and hardening once a month. The best time for this check is when the scrotum is limp and soft – that is, when outside temperatures are warm.
The best time for you to examine your testicles is during or after a bath or shower, when the skin of the scrotum is relaxed.
- Hold the penis out of the way and examine each testicle separately.
- Hold the testicle between your thumbs and fingers with both hands and roll it gently between the fingers.
- Look and feel for any hard lumps or nodules (smooth rounded masses) or any change in the size, shape, or consistency of the testes.
You can also make use of the self-exam app on the Google Play Store, Ball Checker App. Be a man and self-exam.
Check out the following resources for more info on men’s health:
You’ve had some sex ed, and did the deed many times, tried out many things, and you think you know everything about coitus. (more…)
Valentine’s day is meant to be the sexiest panty-dropping occasion of the year, and if you weren’t all too pleased with the gift Cupid brought you last Valentine’s day, you’d be glad to know that we have the perfect gift for you and your lover (or just for yourself)! (more…)
If you are like most people, you’ve already made (and broken) a few resolutions for the new year. We all promise ourselves that we’ll do something differently in the coming 12 months. The conventional list typically cites trite promises like go to gym, eat healthy, quit smoking and so forth. These promises are empty by design, intended only to fill the gaps between sentences, and are hardly ever taken literally.
This year, skip the act and replace the boring list with a single promise: sexual self love!
About self-esteem and your sexuality
At its core, self-esteem is about liking yourself. Do you wake up each day and love being you? Do you support you? It’s also about building self-confidence, having some level of achievement in one’s life and holding the respect of others. Most of us have some kind of awareness that when we feel sexually powerful, that confidence shows up in many ways.
Confidence is universally considered sexy. People who feel they are good at sex have a sense of self-confidence. If you can consciously nourish your sexual energy, it will improve your own self-assurance and use that energy as fuel to live your life the way you want to live it.
Your sexuality gives you all the answers about yourself. The way in which you are able to admit your own sexual desires and habits, says everything about where you are in life. Do you dare to be yourself? Do you dare to say what you feel? Do you dare to say what you want the most?
We all have a sense of our sexual identity, but do we ever stop to consider it? Take a mental inventory every now and then. Write a list of sexual things you’ve experienced, or wanted, but never asked for. Familiarise yourself with your sexuality, refresh your memory on the things you’ve truly enjoyed or think you might enjoy, then revisit it often to keep the memories crisp. We must know who we are in order to know what we want. Everything is connected.
Society today places a lot of value on appearance, and since we all want to belong, it becomes increasingly difficult to not be obsessive about how we look. The more content we are within ourselves, the more we are free to love our bodies as they are.
Reprogram your internal dialogue to not allow that self-deprecating voice to get airtime. Tune in so you can turn it off! Chuck the Cosmo with its perfectly Photoshopped bodies in the bin. We are all special and unique and we need to treat ourselves with respect at all times. There is no need for you to compete with anyone – you are enough!
Commit to spoil yourself
Taking the time to enjoy your own sexuality, privately and just for yourself, is the perfect way to better understand your sexual identity. We’re talking about something more grounded, like treating yourself to a new lingerie set on pay day and spending a night in with your phone turned OFF and your favourite sensual toy ON. Learn to detonate your own O-bomb, it will make you love yourself that much more.
Wishing you a happy, sensual and sexually fulfilling 2016. Until next time.
The Christmas season is a time of happiness and good vibrations. It is a time we spend with our loved ones and share our happiness with. Although the holiday season should have us all slowing down, real life happens and all the hustle and bustle can threaten to drag our spirits down.
Here’s what you can do for relaxation and that extra quality time with your special love.
Set aside time to recharge. Rest is important! Think weekend naps or enjoy a relaxing movie night on the couch. Protect these scheduled times so you’re not too tired to enjoy the more traditional Christmas festivities on the calendar.
There’s something more powerful than spending money… and that’s spending love. Share your memories. Talk, laugh, reminisce. Make new memories in the process. Look at old photos. Take new ones. Create something. Bake something. Write something. Paint something. Build something together. Create a new tradition. Gather together and celebrate.
Find ten things you really love about your other half, and tell him or her. Guys need confidence boosters, too!
Disconnect. Step away from the laptop during quality time. Everything on the Internet will still be there later.
Take a walk down memory lane — visit some of the special places from your early dating days.
Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from you lives together.
Pretend you’re going on a first date. Guys, show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time.
Cook a romantic meal together and dine on the roof, with some candles.
Play Sade. Or any music that gets you in the mood. Do what comes naturally. Slowly.
Whatever quality time means to you, it’s essential that you make it a priority for yourself, your relationship and your family.
Wishing you all the jingly, jolly joys of the holiday season!
All too often, women fake climax, or let their better half assume they had one. We girls know that most guys want us to reach O-land, and while they mostly think they’re blowing our minds, sometimes they (totally!) miss the mark. From testimonials we know that often the first time women find her perfect orgasm is when she’s experimenting with a sex toy all by herself.
So listen up, gents. We know you want to please your lady, and to help you, here’s a list of the sexiest positions guaranteed to get your girl off, and leave her glowing in the aftermath of your saucy romp. And if you really going for perfection add a sex toy!
noun | or·gasm | \ˈȯr-ˌga-zəm\
a: the meaning of life;
b: intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially
c: an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female
Woman on Top
Facing forward, she is in control of depth and motion, having easy access to her clitoris for extra pleasure, and ultimately her orgasm. Help by moving her hips up and down. You’ll love it because the view is great and she will like it, because she’s in charge!
Ideal for lazy Sunday morning playtime. If your lady doesn’t prefer deep penetration, spooning is the way to go. It makes for a tighter fit in the vajayjay, and your hands are free for more manoeuvring around the clitoris.
Put a pillow under her tush to create a new angle of entry. You can even make use of furniture. The pelvic lift will give your lady more pleasure, and you have better access to her G-spot. Hold on to her hips and use them for leverage when thrusting into you. It’s practically yogic! A soft tip MIMI can be used to stimulate the clitoris at same time.
You can’t always reach full penetration when your gal is lying flat on her back. Put her feet up over your shoulders, or bend her knees and place her feet on your chest. It allows for super deep stimulation of that ever eluding G-Spot. This is the perfect position to let the MIO take control.
While lying on your back, let your lady sit on you, facing your feet, and straddle you. This position is most likely to propel her into orgasm because of the direct clitoral stimulation. Wild West sound effects and Cowgirl hats optional! Try and add a small bootie to the mix.
Ass up, face down. If your woman is able to orgasm from penetration alone, she will most definitely benefit from the intensity and direct G-Spot stimulation from this position. If she needs clitoral stimulation, you both have easy access for stimulation with a toy or either hand. Being taken from behind can feel quite naughty and will add to the erotic thrill.
Remember not to skip foreplay. Half the fun of sex is thinking and talking about it, so, before heading straight to the sack, take time to wine, dine and chat to your girl. A gentle stroke here and a nibble on her ear there, will all help to build up to the excitement, and an explosive orgasm. Try Lelo Smart Wand for a full body massage and external stimulating you can even take it to the bath.
One of the best things about steady romantic relationships is that they provide comfort in the crazy world we live in. They can get also get a little ho-hum. Many couples lose that knee-quaking excitement they felt when they first fell madly in love. If your love life has gone stale, it’s time for the antidote: Shake things up. A lot.
Its fun to stoke the fires of your relationship. Give up some of the complacency that’s settled by adding some sugar and spice.
When you’ve lost that loving feeling you can:
Crank up the sensuality
Hot sex is great, but sensuality is luscious. Call in sick to work and spend the day together – naked. Make a comfy space on the floor in front of the television. Add pillows, a duvet, chocolate and bubbly, or whatever tickles your fancy. Snuggle together, skin-to-skin, through a couple of your favourite movies. You’re sure to end up with a hot session of sweaty pillow play.
Take it to the hotel
Getting out of the house gives you freedom to concentrate on each other (instead of thinking about the mountains of laundry). Check into a hotel for a night. There’s nothing like room service and sex in a strange bed to add some sizzle. If you want to save cash, camp out on your living room floor or under the stars in your backyard instead.
Sex in different places
Have sex in unusual places. If you normally do the act in the bedroom, switch to the couch, shower, kitchen floor, or anywhere taboo. Do it on the back seat of your car. Don’t be shy now.
Lay down a few rules to keep things hot. For example, no making use of the same sex position more than twice in one week – it will keep you from being stuck in the same boring routine. Play with toys. Pull out a vibrator (or a blindfold, ropes, handcuffs or massage oil) and play together. Be creative and keep things fun.
Play the stranger’s game
Agree to meet your partner at a swanky bar, but pretend you don’t know each other. Your partner spots you, the hot stranger, across the room and tries to pick you up. Make it fun by resisting a little, but for optimum results you want your partner’s efforts to be successful. Play the game as yourselves, or pretend you’re having a wanton affair!
Okay, well then try dressing up in a costume and role play that way. You can be the pretty police officer looking to cuff him or the naughty nurse taking his temperature while getting him hot at the same time. Whatever it is, have fun and be creative with it…and do it often so that he wonders which of your hot personalities he’ll be lucky enough to meet next.
Get naked and give each other a sensual massage without focusing on sex. Pleasure each other and let your fingers linger around the erogenous zones for a while. As long as the focus is on helping your partner orgasm, it’ll make both of you feel good.
The mind is the biggest sexual organ we have. Read an erotic story together. Share your fantasies and imagine it together. It’ll be a bigger turn-on than you think.
Whatever your fancy, enjoy the bliss of romance, and work on keeping the passion boiling with new and raunchy things to try together.
Sexual pleasure is the universal fuel of life that nourishes body, mind and spirit, but is a rather lubricious creature and is often weighed down by psychological baggage. It consists of those affirmative valued feelings induced by sexual stimuli, encompassed by a wide range of pleasures, from the soothing sensations of sensual massage, to the explosive feelings that accompany orgasm.
There is no one magic pill when it comes to having good sex, as no move or position works for everyone. If you’ve been wondering what you can do to better your sessions between the sheets, read on for some pointers to get you on the way to maximise your and your partner’s pleasure.
Great sex can be challenging if it’s only about focusing on one area of the body. The most important thing is that the primary sex organ is satisfied for both women and men, this organ being the brain. In the end, it’s nearly all mental, even though sex involves touching some very special spots. This is one good reason to up your romance and foreplay game – it can take sex from satisfying (or not so satisfying) to spectacular.
Orgasm is such a prominent part of the deed that it becomes easy to make it into the one thing that defines great sex. Although it sounds crazy, it’s true: orgasm isn’t always essential to a woman’s sexual satisfaction. When you get overly focused on getting you or your partner to climax, your behaviour can have the opposite effect. The best way to have an orgasm is to not require one. So relax your Big-O attitude – your laid-back approach can put you both more at ease, making it easier to climax.
It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. Yes, the cliché is true: It is how you use it. Only a small percentage of sexually satisfied women say penis size is critical to their pleasure. Passion is what keeps women coming back for more, and sexual chemistry is what makes sex incredible.
Massage can mean the difference between great sex and no sex at all. It almost seems too easy, but it is a great way to rev up a sexual encounter. The skin-to-skin touching adds the intimacy component, plus, massage can improve circulation (a vital function for roaring sex). Start in a smart place like the back.
Give the boudoir a boost by introducing a sex toy. Open each toy and read the instructions together – part of the fun is checking your toys out, turning them on, and watching your partner’s sexy face as you try each one.
We love the We Vibe 4 Plus for maximum couples pleasure.
Happy rolling in the hay!
Alas, it is Women’s Month, and in addition to paying homage to all the women of our nation, we also celebrate the female body in all its beauty. Women’s sexual pleasure, like men’s, is important to overall emotional and physical well-being, but achieving a healthy and satisfying sex life doesn’t happen by magic. It takes self-reflection and candid communication. Although talking about what pleasures you can be difficult for some, it’s a topic well worth talking about.
The clitoris was considered the only trigger for the female orgasm for many, many moons. Unfortunately, finding the clitoris turned out to be a intimidating undertaking for many men, and an even more mysterious female pleasure spot hidden within the vagina has been found since. You may have heard of the G-Spot. Or not.
The G-Spot, popularised by sexologists in the ’80s, was discovered by Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg circa 1950. As it turns out, stimulating the G-spot produces strong sexual arousal, very powerful female orgasm; and in some women, it even results in female ejaculation, informally known as “squirting”.
So, what is this G-Spot?
It is the bean-shaped, spongy tissue of the para-urethral gland, which is similar to the male prostate. The actual area is only about the size of a pea, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. The G-spot consists of erectile tissue, it swells up when blood rushes to it — especially if you learn how to master your lady’s G-spot effectively.
It is located about 5 to 8 centimetres back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall. The front wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as her belly button.
Making your lady happy doesn’t always have to be a daunting task. The vagina generally reacts favourably to being licked, sucked, blown on and touched. It also likes having two fingers put inside it, once it’s skilfully lubricated and engorged with blood, then beckoned in a gentle, come-hither way.
You can manually stimulate the G-spot with a steady tapping motion with two fingers, but you might find it easier to stimulate it with various toys. Any dildo can be used for this, but the ones best suited for G-spot stimulation are hard and curved. Many are made specifically for G-spot stimulation, as their length, width and curve are specifically designed to take the guesswork out of G-spot stimulation.
Why don’t you try our Discover G-Spot Gel or G-Kii G-Spot Stimulator?
During our search for satisfaction, sex toys are something that get dropped into the conversation at times. We’ve told you everything about Vibrators; from buying your first all the way to why they are so much fun. Still you haven’t done it. You’ve looked over and over at different sex toys, you’ve done your research but you haven’t taken the first step. Actually buying something.
Walking into an adult store is very unsettling for most people – but luckily thanks to the wonderful wide web we now have online stores. Being anonymous never felt this good.
Sex Toys are generally taboo in most homes so talking about it, or introducing it into your bed room shenanigans with your Mr or Mrs takes balls. I guess this is the hardest step to overcome. And then you probably also come clean to your best friend. Because let’s face it – she already knows too much. If she’s anything like me her reaction would be like something out of the friends sitcom.
In fact, if you are not sure if you should take the plunge or not – talk to your best friend ( the one who knows all your deepest darkest secrets and probably helped put some of those skeletons in the cupboard).
Finding out what turns you on takes practice , and I’m not ashamed to say, lots of practice. The more you use your pelvic floor muscles the tighter they become. The tighter they become, the more explosive your orgasms.
I don’t think you need more convincing than that.
Vibrators. Wonderful little ( or big) things. It can take you from zero to OMW in seconds.
The 1950’s Death Trap for your Vagina
With today’s technological advances it’s strange to think how something as taboo as vibrators and sex toys have advanced right alongside everything else in the world.
The point here, is sexual satisfaction or to spruce up your healthy sex life. The most important factor is to enjoy, enjoy, ENJOY. As mentioned in our other blog post, starting with a body safe silicon vibrator is a great place to start.
Use it everywhere – like they did in the 50’s
Been there, Done that, I want something bigger. You need different speeds of vibration and 2 or 3 settings of pulsations. I like the pulsations, they break off the buzzing speedy feeling of the vibes and give you a “breather” to catch your breath and get a more realistic rhythm. Most clitoral stimulators are for external use only but it doesn’t mean that you need to use it only on your clitoris, feel free to massage your body with it try the nipples see how it feels, And if you are with a male partner, don’t be selfish go ahead use it on him.
Pulsations, vibrations, rotations and the latest from Lelo come hither movement of the internal arm.
Some vibrators are better designed to fit the contours of the body; the classic look is not always comfortable as the shaft part can be to long or to big. Not that some of us mind.
Many of the big brands are moving away from the classic look to the more modern look with an internal arm that is specifically designed to put pressure upwards to the G spot and external arm that moves/vibrate smoothly over the clitoris . You want to be able to control the 2 separately meaning 2 motors with separate controls.
With all the negative publicity around sex it’s hard to decide whether or not you should take the plunge and explore sex toys. It can either be for yourself or something to enjoy with your partner as part of your healthy sex life. There are so many websites selling sex toys. They all promise the best products, best service and offer the best shopping experience. Only one problem, they have thousands of different toys in hundreds of categories from beginners to advanced, products for men and women and everything in between.
You are soon feeling overwhelmed, and confused thinking to yourself How do I know which product is right for me? Where do I start?
Purchasing your first sex toy is a very important step it is crucial that you’ll have as much information as possible. It is important to know that the sex toy industry is vast and is unfortunately not regulated and there are a lot of cheap products out there that could harm you, rather than give you the sexual experience of a life time.
When purchasing your first sex toy always remember:
- If you are new always go for hypoallergenic
- Brand names – Research the name of the manufacturer. Big names have their own websites with useful information on their products. They don’t always sell online but often they’ll have lists of suppliers that stock their products.
- Technology: Seems random mentioning this when it comes to sex toys. The technology used determines how sex toys are designed to fit your body, quiet motors (nothing worse than having the loud buzzing distract you from the task at err…hand), motors are stronger, products have rechargeable batteries and have suave ways to control your device. From the tips of your fingers to the buttons on your iphone.
The most popular first toy is a clitoral stimulator, they are small discreet, come in different colures and shapes. Some are softer than the others and you get rechargeable or battery activated toys.
They are flirty and fun and guaranteed satisfaction.
Start with a body safe silicon vibrator that has different settings, this will allow you to explore and find out what turns you on. Once you are comfortable and have graduated from this feisty toy, you can explore other products and continue exploring and find out what drives you.
The sex shop experience, buying adult toys. You have made up your mind, finally ,to go out and buy an adult sex toy, either for self-use or as a gift to someone special.
Where do you go?? What if someone sees you going in? or worse, coming out with a packet!?
Will the staff be knowledgeable and attentive? Do they even care about your needs? Allure sensuality emporium sex toy buying experience is unlike anything available in Cape town.
Why? Sari has created her sex toy shop in such a way that anyone will feel comfortable ,relaxed, not threatened or overwhelmed.
Sari cares for your wish to enhance your sex life , whether singles or couples, regardless of gender or age, she has the ability to devise the right adult sex toy best suited to fulfill your “heart’s” desire.
The great thing about coming in to the store, compared to buying on-line, is that nothing can compare with the actual interaction with the various adult toys.
No, no real live demonstrations, however, you get to touch, feel and hear how they operate and receive an educational and detailed description of what it does and what makes it such an awesome technological marvel.
And each adult sex toy has a different story!
Come on, book an appointment, Allure sensuality emporium is open daily from 10h30 to 19h00, weekends included.
Let me say it outright: to have a wife as an adult toys purveyor is lots of fun. “So you get to play with all them toys, do you?” is probably the first question directed to me once I’m introduced as “the husband”. Well, in actual fact, I do get to play with them quite a bit.
The Sex Toy Experience
There’s no doubt that after more than twenty two years as a married couple, sex toys are a very welcome addition to our life. Since we introduced top quality adult play tools they have enhanced our mutual activities, as well as created deeper (no pun intended) understanding about our own sexual needs; the ways to entice and satisfy them.
To drive the point even deeper (here I go again):
We have tried various brands and toys over the years, before Sari started with the business, and I found that by avoiding the expensive type of products-as in: ”You don’t really want to spend that much money on a SEX TOY, do you?” The experience was less than satisfactory and outright annoying. Skin irritations,(non-silicon toys) noise level and very short product life span, to name a few. They put you off instead of turn you on!
Example? I was never a great fan of cock rings, I knew what they were designed for, but it didn’t work for me. I found them uncomfortable, irritating, and they caused loss of sensitivity that made me lose patience and take them off, kind of why bother?
Then I discovered the Mio from Je Joue, a real marvel in human ingenuity, definitely worth the investment. A whole new world of magic had been revealed to me. This little gadget is designed specifically to vibrate pleasure for both the user and the partner, simply slipping it on during sex keeps the penis harder for longer and allows for added stimulation and stronger simultaneous orgasms.
I’m much more educated now. It improved the sex toy experience for me. Allure sensuality stocks the very best of products brands that are on offer, and they sure make a great improvement to your healthy sex life.
If the books excited and you cannot wait for the movie, wait until you see our full range of fifty shades sex toys straight from Mr. Grey’s red room.
Fifty Shades Sex Toys
Allure Sensuality stocks a variety of adult toys straight from fifty shades of Grey that will ensure you experience the full Mr. Grey / Ms. Steel scenario in your own home. Fifty shades sex toys are selling fast so hurry up and shop online now!
If you want to have a little bit of fun with your girl friends this is your chance. We host sex toy parties for anyone over the age of 18.
Sex Toy Parties
Think Tupperware party but instead of bowls, think sex toys. Our sex toy parties are all about having fun and having your questions answered. We host our Sex Toy Parties at various venues in Cape Town or at your home and ensure you have a fun filled evening with your friends. Our sex toy parties allow you to see different sex toys, ask questions and if you want to, buy the products we have on display.
If you want more information you can contact us or follow us on Facebook to see what we are up to!
We stock a variety of lubricants and enhancers to enhance your sexual experience even more.
Lubricants and Enhancers
Our range of lubricant and enhancing products include stimulating lubricants, body paint, massage oils and massage gels. All our lubricants and enhancers are safe to use and will maximize your experience and stimulate you in all the right places.
For the more adventurous couples, we have a wide range of adult toys for couples.
Toys for Couples
This includes vibrators, clitoral stimulators as well as adult toy games to add a bit of fun to your sexual experience. Our adult toys for couples will help stimulate and give new meaning to the word “intimacy”.
At Allure we stock a variety of sex toys for adults. Allure Sensuality stocks a large variety of top of the range sex toys for adults that are top quality, non-toxic and have been thoroughly tried and tested to ensure deep sexual pleasure.
Sex Toys for Adults
We have a wide range of sex toys for adults including vibrators, dildos, anal toys, vibrating bullets, Erotic Bullets, as well as Balls and Eggs. Contact Allure Sensuality if you are not sure which Adult Sex Toys you need to get!
Sex toys party, sex toys party, SEX.TOYS.PARTY!
No matter how many times you say it, it still sounds exiting. Well, if haven’t been to one hosted by Sari, you don’t know the half of it!
I consider my wife as one of the funniest people I know, not that I’m biased, and being present in more than one of her events is an opportunity I don’t intend on missing. (more…)
Sex Toys, Dildo’s, My Wife and Me
Sex Toys, Dildo’s, My Wife and Me. “You’re wife does what? Really? You’re the husband? What does she need you for now? Ha-ha, lucky bugger.”
Well, as a matter of fact, I am.
The day my wife-Sari, informed me that she wants to enter the adult toys industry, aka sex toys, dildos and all that’s in between, I said “go for it, you’ll do great! This is so you!”
Sari comes from the fitness industry and through years I learned that most women need more than a fitness instructor, they need someone to talk to, someone that understands then, someone who cares, in short-my wife, Sari.
Sari has huge empathy and loves people, so when she closed her studio she closed a big part of herself as well. She needed something new, and exciting, a challenge.
“What better way to go back and connect with people than to consult about adult toys?”
So she did. To my delight.
Enter the most amazing playthings designed by man. Seriously.
I think that a civilisation need not be judged by how advanced it’s legal system is, or it’s philosophical insight, nor by its capability to wipe out entire populations, no, NO,NO.
Ladies and gentlemen SEX TOYS!! The most advanced and enjoyable products known to man.
The innovation, research and design invested for only one purpose- achieving orgasm. Brilliant.
And I get to play with them, Try them out and have fun in more ways than I’ll ever divulge.
Like most males, I love gadgets and technology and playing with buttons, pressing, twisting( not to mention the lights, blinking, flickering) and it VIBRATES and if you can make your partner feel great while doing it- it’s FUN,FUN,FUN.
Sure, it can get a bit technical at the beginning, but practice does make perfect 🙂
But most of all it’s the communication. You see, you need to understand what your partner is going through, what lights the fireworks and what…well, doesn’t. You listen, talk, share and suddenly the act that was becoming so familiar, in a good way, has a complete new dimension and that’s exciting.
And no, I don’t think I’ve been replaced by a 21st century awesomely manufactured orgasm-by-the-press-of-a-button whatchamacallit, but hi, a little competition is not a bad thing!
Until next time
Have fun 🙂