Anxiety is a completely normal and emotional reaction to some many things in life, but sometimes, as is the case with performance in the bedroom, it can outstay its welcome. Bad experiences and lifelong hang-ups can stop you from fully enjoying sex. If you’re anxious about doing the deed, read on for tips on easing up on the stress.
Do what you like
When you start viewing sex as something that’s enjoyable, your nervousness will melt away. So do what you like in bed. You don’t have to be completely and utterly selfish, but do tell your partner what you want and like. He/she will be more than happy to oblige!
Slow down, and take a deep breath.
Foreplay certainly revs up your engines. Go at your own pace, working your way up from little to more physical contact. The feeling of being in control will give you a self-confidence boost.
You can say no
Don’t ever feel obligated to do anything that you don’t want to. If your partner wants to do something that you’re not prepared or in the mood for, tell them.
It can be tricky to talk about sex and anxiety. Speak with a professional therapist if you can’t find a trustworthy friend (or your partner) to talk with.
Sometimes, go solo
Occasionally, all it takes is a bit of me-time to relax. When you masturbate, you’re in control, so you can try out new things to find what works best for you.
If you feel anxious about your everyday (or imminent) sexual performance, here are great questions to ask yourself and help ease your mind.
- What could go right?
- Am I feeling protected with this person I’m about to have sex with? If no, re-evaluate why you’re with this person in the first place.
- What am I excited about right this very moment?
- Am I setting sensible expectations?
Sex isn’t a show. Be in the moment and enjoy what you’re doing, and the performance anxiety will settle down.