Men and women alike can sometimes suffer from a negative body image. It messes with our heads, and it messes around with us in bed. The way we see our bodies can have a negative impact on our feelings of sexual desire and enjoyment. We’re impacted by what we think of ourselves, and by what we assume our partners think of our bodies.
Negative body image can look like this:
- Perfectionism, or feeling down and frustrated about your physical flaws.
- Preoccupation with looks and conforming to certain ideals (you know, those perfectly Photoshopped models on the cover of GQ or Women’s Health).
- Believing that you must be a certain size or weight to be desirable or happy.
- Judging parts instead of paying attention to the whole. When you look in the mirror, often people with low self-esteem only see the body parts that they think are unattractive.
Address your negative body image issues and get back on track with your sex life by doing this:
- Believe it when your partner gives you a compliment. If he she/he says you look sexy/beautiful/wow, you can be sure it is the truth.
- Root out negative self-talk before and during sex. Be aware of your inner critical voice, and remind yourself that you deserve sex and sexual pleasure.
- Be mindful. Be aware of what comes up in your mind, and don’t always accept those thoughts as the truth. We question our thoughts and feelings, but they are just thoughts and feelings. Not concrete reality.
- Breathe while having sex. Take your mind off negative thoughts by taking a deep breath in for two seconds, then focus on that feeling. Add daily meditation to your routine.
- Focus on your partner and how his/her body responds to yours. Notice your partner’s pleasure and desire.
- Focus on what you do like about your body or face (I have beautiful blue eyes, I have a sparkling personality/I have strong legs and can run fast) and reiterate those points on a daily basis.
Take stock of how you feel about your body, learn how to love yourself, then experience the pleasure you know you so much deserve.
